‘Barberism’
July 6, 2009
No advanced civilization has been sustained without barbers. The more the better. There are few things more beautiful or emblematic of strength and order than a man’s neck, freshly-shaven. Some societies have found long hair in men attractive and masculine. These societies have disappeared, as well they should have.
The barber closest to where I live is a nice, but messy person. He sweeps all the day’s hair into a hole in his floor. The hair rains down into the basement, where he leaves it accumulating in a massive hill of human locks. I once took my son down to the basement so that he could use the restroom. We both almost fainted in disgust. The hill was illuminated with the ghostly light shining from the hole above.
For this reason, and out of thrift, I have long been my husband’s barber. I have cut his hair for about fifteen years. I have a few rules. One, I don’t talk sports. Most men enjoy mulling over the latest scores while getting their heads shorn. Tough luck.
I also reserve the right to break out in laughter. There’s a reason why there are barbers. It does take some skill and training. Worse comes to worse, my husband can wear a baseball cap for a few days. Don’t misunderstand me. I take the job seriously. What woman wants her husband to appear with unintentional corn rows?
“Thanks,” my husband said recently after a hair cut. “It needs to be done.” He was quoting Richard Nixon. In his famous conversaton with John Dean, Nixon spoke of the need to use the FBI and IRS against political enemies.
“Oh, what an exciting prospect,” said Dean.
“Thanks,” said Nixon. “It needs to be done.”
Melissa writes:
I liked the post on kitchen barber shops. My husband has a cousin who owns a salon in another state. Between private lessons with her, some DVDs, and even one book I now give decent home haircuts. I cut all five boys and even the four girls. Thanks for another post that seemed like it came from here.
Laura writes:
Do you cut nine heads?
Melissa writes:
Yes, I cut nine heads. Well, nine-and-a-half. I cut my husband’s hair as well, but the youngest is a baby and doesn’t need much.
Laura writes:
That’s wonderful! I am so impressed. I bet your pretty good at it. If you cut each person’s hair every six weeks, that’s a minimum of 72 haircuts a year. At $15 a haircut, you save $1,080 a year. But, haircuts for girls are likely to be more expensive, even twice that amount, and so you likely save much more. Over ten years, you probably save in the range of $15,000. That ain’t chump change. The savings in time not spent traveling to barbers and salons, and waiting once you’re there, is even more significant.
