Not long ago, I wrote about hiking in the mountains and of coming across lesbian couples who had an air of toughness and lonely vulnerability. In comments regarding the recent entry on modesty and shame, a reader describes an experience that eerily echoes my own.

Charles writes:

Laura wrote: “There is one other important thing to remember. Many people are deeply unhappy. They are begging for normalcy and don’t know where to find it. Loneliness and the absence of piety, reverence and beauty in their lives is killing them from the inside.” 

Well stated. I see this frequently. I observed it several weeks ago while my wife and I were taking a day hike up the side of a mountain in the Appalachians. We encountered numerous groups of people enjoying this sparkling autumn day. However, the group that stood out to us was a group of four young women, probably late 20s to early 30s; all attractive and fit. Although, they were not profane in their choice of words, they were – at one point on the trail – very openly berating and insulting each other in front of everyone else. It was supposed to be all in fun, of course. It was a show and I concluded they must be showing off. I was repulsed by it and I did not want to listen to people tear each other up with their words – even if it was supposedly in jest. 

I was carrying a pack with my camera, tripod, and some water in it, so we stopped on one of the steeper grades to rest and allow the same group of girls to go on ahead of us. One of the girls stopped and asked a few questions about my backpack. My wife and I talked briefly with her. She was very pleasant, pleasant smile, pleasant voice tone and demeanor – nothing like the behavior at the previous spot. Such a rapid change in behavior! 

We eventually reached a large rocky outcrop. My wife and I settled in on top of this outcrop to take in the wonderful view. While we were there I closely watched the same group of girls from a respectful distance. They were all very quiet; no bantering back and forth. One by one they left. Their facial expression and body posture in this honest moment communicated something much different than the behavior we had witnessed earlier. They were not the confident super-women we had witnessed on the lower parts of the trail; instead they were fragile and vulnerable. They were sad and lonely. The impression I had of them at that moment, contrasted to my earlier impression, was one of sympathy – I actually felt – for want of a better phrase – sorry for them. Despite the banter, they were deeply unhappy. For some reason, bravado and loneliness are consistent companions. When I see this combination, it is usually displayed by men. I was dismayed to see it in these young women. 

It felt strange to be so content sitting in the sun, on top of a rock, with the woman who loves me the most while in the midst of some very unhappy people. I remarked to my wife later on that every one of those girls needs a good, faithful man to love them and that I truly hope that happens for each of them. 

On a lighter note, I did carry the pack the whole trip. I am sure that makes me a chauvinist! :)

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