SOMETIMES it seems the world has been emptied of fatherliness. You know, father, the big guy who lives with your mother. You know, the guy who says no. Maybe the world took Jean-Paul Sartre too seriously when he said, “There are no good fathers … It is not the men who are at fault but the paternal bond which is rotten.”

Still here and there, fathers, typically men who haven’t gotten the message that the paternal bond is rotten through and through, show up for duty. Here’s one.

James H. writes:

As the father of four girls, I’ve faced many “dates” and do not feel as though I’ve done my job unless I’ve managed to instill some fear and trepidation. I explain very clearly to whoever comes to pick up my girls that my daughter is the most precious thing in the world to me and I fully expect them to act accordingly. Now, at first, I met with some exasperation and opposition, but as time wore on, my daughters all came to appreciate, and most interestingly, expect my remorseless interrogation and examination. When the younger ones came up, they were actually disappointed if I let up at all. 

My third youngest brought home an obvious druggie one time. And I have to say, I was ruthless – to the point of angering her at me more than she’d ever been. I simply stood my ground and quietly told her if she thinks I’m going to entrust my precious daughter to some drug addled hippie she must be dreaming. “Not on my watch, honey. Not while I’m still drawing breath.” She stormed around the house for a week, called her older sisters (who took my side), and was generally disagreeable. But, she now laughs at the story and enjoys telling her friends about it, though she acts peevish when she tell the story. If I fail to grill a date, my daughters are actually disappointed. They now consider it a right of passage and lose respect for any boy who cannot handle the heat. 

We’ve still got the fourth coming along, and I’m hopeful I can hold the line there as well.

Laura writes:

Gee, I didn’t know it was still legal to do this kind of thing. Are there many men who still act like this, interrogating their daughters’ dates instead of allowing them (their daughters)  to head off into the modern wilderness and live lives that would have once been considered indecent by a moderately well-paid courtesan?

James H. writes:

I’m not quite sure why men abdicate their responsibility to look after their daughters. I’ve no particular desire to pal around or even be liked by my daughter’s dates. I will tell you, after they’ve been around awhile I get along with them great. It is always much easier to relax your demands and expectations than to enforce them after the fact. In many instances, the sons of friends have dated my daughters – this changes nothing. Honestly, I wouldn’t consider sacrificing my daughter’s well being on the altar of my social ambitions (limited as they are). I want these boys to think of me as a loose cannon, a curmudgeon, an enigma, unpredictable – someone you don’t want to cross. I do believe the drive to protect one’s daughters is strongly instinctive but has been conditioned out of your typical socially and economically ambitious parakeet males (credit to Ann Coulter). 

Powerful radicalizing and revolutionary forces have been unleashed in the West. Self indulgence, self gratification and finally self glorification have become the most toxic and corrosive of all radicalizing influences for in their pursuit, Christianity, culture, tradition and custom must all be sacrificed and what remains but a blank slate ripe for exploitation. The extraordinary and necessary sustenance provided by our Christian culture must be stripped away to make room for Utopia and the “new man.” 

Christianity is the enemy for it alone stands as a bulwark against progressivism, innovation and radical change. Surely those forces unleashed by the Enlightenment are incapable of defending our civilization and the left instinctively understands this. Only Christianity with its rich traditions, rituals, symbols and transcendent values is capable of resisting the Siren’s Song of chaos and disintegration.

                                                   — Comments —

Fitzgerald writes:

Way to go James! Spot-on comments as well. 

I’ve long resigned to being declared a throwback. I’ve learned to wear it as a badge of honor. When I encounter those with progressive or feminist mindsets who accuse me of a variety of “egregious” politically incorrect sins, I thank them for recognizing this quality in my behavior. The reaction is typically priceless. Few are able to even put together a coherent answer much less a clear rebuttable and slink away muttering to themselves. Many sheeples parrot the current “wisdom” with little if any real understanding of the issues at hand and thus are unable to actually defend their positions.

Sean writes:

I am busy taking notes. My wife and I just had the ultrasound done two days ago. Our first child is going to be a girl. So your story hit me a little harder than it would have last week. All of a sudden I can’t imagine letting someone hurt my daughter. With a lot of prayer, good advice, and my wife’s help, I think I’ll at least have a fighting chance
to protect her.

Laura writes:

Congratulations. That is wonderful. Twenty years from now, you will be remorselessly interrogating men yourself.  

Karen I. writes:

It seems to me these days fathers are overall more willing to pay for their daughters to abort unplanned pregnancies than to interrogate their daughter’s dates. I was allowed to run wild with very little supervision as a teenage girl, as were my siblings. When my parents failed to protect me, my dates picked up on that, and they were disrespectful as a result. Girls from good homes may not actually be the good girls others think they are, nor do they always have better character than the bad girls, but they are much better protected. That is why so many girls from bad homes get “reputations.” They push the boundaries to see if there is a point at which their parents will take notice, which, of course, they don’t. The girl starts to think she does not matter to anyone and she becomes angry. Her self-esteem is destroyed. Sadly, the reputation often acquired as an unsupervised teen can follow a woman her entire life in smaller towns like mine. 

If a father is not in the home, as is so often the case, I think mothers should take up the slack as much as possible and interrogate the dates themselves, or have a close adult male relative take charge of that job. It is too important a job to go undone.

Laura writes:

All very true.

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