‘What Women Never Hear’
February 26, 2010
ALL SELF-HELP advice is not “psycho-porn.” There is decent counsel to be had in this sad world. You just won’t likely find it on the bestseller list or in a therapist’s office.
For women seeking to live and love as neither the playthings of their own emotions or of men, there is one excellent source of advice, the blog What Women Never Hear, the work of an unnamed elderly gentleman who is a former naval officer and university professor. None of the Elizabeth Gilberts or Lori Gottliebs writing today offer the truths to be found in this man’s tips and insights on courtship, love and marriage. His writings include the input of his wife of 55 years.
The author uses the pseudonym A. Guy Maligned. His latest series of posts, Dignity amid Divorce, is directed to women with cheating husbands. These first-person pieces written from the perspective of a woman who has learned of her husband’s affair is filled with common sense and wisdom. Jenny Sandford and Elizabeth Edwards should have read this. Maligned takes the woman step by step as she reclaims the upper-hand and asserts her independence without intiating divorce and without violating the innocence of her children. Maligned writes in the voice of the woman:
I peaceably disassemble us as a couple without … becoming a quarrelsome nagger, shrew, or emotional burn out. He sees nothing but that he loses what he highly valued sometime past. He sees a woman as close as possible to the girl he initially married but more highly withdrawn and independent. Sounds like a tough order, and it is.
Maligned takes seriously the fate of those who face an unhappy marriage. His advice exposes the shallowness of feminist self-help, which often puts a woman in a position of less, not more, control.
Rita writes:
Sex and femininity are the most beautiful things women have to offer men and other than the ability to give birth and nurture children, the only thing that women are (generally) better at. When there is no scarcity of women willing to have sexual relations with men, no specialness to the act of sex because of loose morals, men run wild and free. There’s no need to commit to one woman and their children for life. Guy explains this so well from a male perspective and inspires women to find the fortitude to remain chaste outside of marriage for the good of men, women, children and society in general. He gives great advice for married women as well regarding nagging, the difference between fairness and equality between the sexes and much more. I can’t say enough good things about this blog!
