A Domestic Dictionary
March 12, 2010
IS FOR …
Appetite A recurring emptiness. Feed three times a day. Incurable.
Apple A one-time mistake.
Apron Protective garment worn while cooking and cleaning. An article of feminine liberation and fulfillment.
Bed Realm of creation and communion, rest and dreams, remembrance and forgetfulness. The best place to die.
Broom Ancient tool of enlightenment.
Career Cause of mindless and repetitive drudgery.
Cup-ee Drinking vessel for children. The contents turn hair into threads of gold.
Dandelion Greens A cheap and nutritious herb. A symbol of poverty embraced.
Domus Economicus A home run on rationalism and principles of industrial efficiency. A factory with one product: energy.
Dust Fragments of everything.
High Heel Once a delightful setting for the female foot, now a clickety-clack, clickety-clacking shoe of matriarchal oppressors and organizational fanatics with all the charm of a Prussian boot.
Home Human island in a hostile sea. The birthplace of civilization. The foundry of thoughts.
Love A vision of good. Various, but one. Non-refundable and Tax-free. Eternal.
Overstuffed Pillow The lethal paunch of a middle-aged man who lives on pizza and microwaveable popcorn.
Purgatory, Real A place where souls await Paradise, recalling sin and thirsting for light.
Purgatory, Retail Large, fluorescent-lit warehouse owned by global giant. Scene of confusion, indecision and existential dread.
Tickler Implement of torture, similar to a riding crop, used by domestic tyrants to beat children and men. (See Great Expectations.)
Vow A promise made in ignorance, kept in wisdom.
Whisk A tool for dispersing mental sediment. Also used to mix sauces and whip cream.
Yeast Living organism and leavener. Reliable friend.