On “Mawms”
March 17, 2010
Cindi writes:
You wrote this in a previous entry:
This is a relatively trivial point, but Paula’s reference to grown women as “moms” offends me. Children refer to their mothers as “moms;” other people should speak of them as mothers or women. To me, this cutesy, sentimental language is a way of shielding women from criticism. This pervasive Mommy-ness is not always as sweet and other-directed as it appears.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you for being as offended as I am by this diminution of mothers and motherhood; this juvenilization of the very concept. No woman is any longer a mother, she – they are all – “moms,” pronounced “mawm.” I can’t stand it.
Laura writes:
Thank you, thank you, thank you for agreeing with me on this point. I know it seems curmudgeonly: What could be more innocent than “mom?” But this sentimentality is an outgrowth of feminism, a way of belittling the traditional power of women to shape culture from the home. Can you imagine anyone referring to a woman lawyer as a “go-to-work mom”? The more women move away from motherhood, and the more motherhood becomes associated with the baby and toddler years, the more sickly sweet the institution becomes, a beautiful hobby instead of an absorbing, long-term occupation.
Elizabeth Wright writes:
“To me, this cutesy, sentimental language is a way of shielding women from criticism.”
Yes, I have wondered for sometime how this “Mom” business got started, with acquaintances and even strangers using the term so liberally, when it does not refer to their own mothers. I think you’ve hit on it. It probably got underway with the increase in numbers of these single mothers. In addition to infantilizing them, as was also suggested, it is a way of deflecting criticism of them. How can you criticize the behavior of someone who is such a dear “Mom?”
Fictionalized media stories use this term almost like an idealized category, as they glamorize the lives of “Single Moms.”
Laura writes:
I don’t think it’s only connected to the increase in single motherhood. The word “mother” reverberates with notions of traditional authority, the figure who is both revered and feared. Today parents are chums. Friendship is an essential aspect of parenthood, but a mother should retain some detachment (that’s not the same as coldness) so she can look to her children’s larger interests and provide discipline.
Karen I. writes:
The “mawm” comments remind me of the Kleenex ad campaign currently running on television featuring a variety of “moms” doting on the same young man. As soon as they do something he does not like, such as serve spinach, he moves on to another mom. At the end, it says how you can go to their website to “get mommed”. The website is getmommed.com and offers “extra mothering this cold and flu season” and shows a variety of “moms” that can be “interviewed to see which one fits you best”. I think the entire ad campaign is a sad commentary.
Chris Roach writes:
Look at this insipid political advertisement. It seems to me you either want to play in the male domains–business, military, politics–and thereby lose some of your femininity, or you can be a mother. But to move into the distinctly competitive domains and do so as a “mommy” is kind of pathetic and the source of much personal and societal frustration.
The ad states:
Mommies are the bomb. We work. We volunteer. We take care of our families, and in some cases we run for office. I certainly couldn’t do any of this without my uber-supportive husband, Douglas. But I am going to have to try.
