RESPONDING TO this entry on the decline of the family meal, Mabel LeBeau writes:

I haven’t figured out if by modern definitions I’m feministic or feminine or merely female in gender, but have found the most effective way to conduct a family meal is participation by the father figure. If Father is the one to initiate conversations, officially nod approval over the meal, settle disputes over who gets to pass the bread first, provide approval for individual family member’s self-validation and ‘say grace,’ it’s rather pointless to call it a family meal in our home if Daddy doesn’t show up.

Over the span of more than several decades of marriage, no matter how much effort has been placed in anticipatory preparations for a simple repast after a whirlwind of arriving home late after work (it doesn’t take too much time or work to reheat previously baked spuds, steam broccoli with chestnuts, and thaw a ‘skillet meal’ with shrimp while putting raspberries on top of a fruit salad), if everyone has snacked to fulfillment, and Papa is in a snit and refuses to come to dinner then the family meal is not going to happen. One is inclined to believe the issue is not due to feminism or masculinity, or even if it’s a matter of preparation or serving time for a family sit-down meal. Rather, it depends on whether the adult-figures choose to show up.

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