IN A RECENT ENTRY, Michael S. drew attention to the improper and profligate use of the word “literally.” Its abuse appears to be prevalent among women. (Just the other day, I said, “This sandwich is literally tasteless.”) Literally must always be the pulsing center of a sentence. It expresses a lack of confidence in the simple declaration of fact and indicates an impoverished descriptive vocabulary.

T.G., a reader who is an English teacher, sent this link. The author of the blog has devoted part of his life to “literally.” He writes, “Misuse of the word “literally” gets my blood boiling (no, not literally). It started as a nit-picking distraction, grew to a frustrating obsession, and finally resulted in the creation of this blog…. If I can stop one person from using literally inappropriately I have done my job.”

A noble mission, but the writer may go insane in a non-metaphorical way before he is done.

                      — Comments —

Michael S. writes:

I’ve come to the conclusion that “literally” is lazy shorthand for “…and I am NOT exaggerating…”

Laura writes:

But it’s most often used when one is exaggerating.

Kristor writes:

“Literally” is a delicate, ladylike way of saying “effing.” As in, “This goddamn sandwich is effing tasteless.” That’s how a guy would say it to another guy (so long as no women were around). 

You know what they say: Good Old Anglo Saxon. If you want your elocution to be maximally effective, never use a Latin or Greek derivative when there is a fitting Anglicism ready to hand. 

Men use Anglo Saxon. Especially sailors. I am the proud possessor of a hardcover copy of Partridge’s Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English, and if my desultory perusal thereof is any indication, somewhere around 2/3 of the slang we use originated in the Royal Navy, as a way of embroidering upon curses and foul language. Think, for example, of “lip service,” these days used to refer to everything politicians say – literally (I use the word advisedly), everything. What do you suppose “lip service” meant, ab initio? Need I say more? Is it not too rich to bear, to think of all these earnest broadcasters on the network news using the term, “lip service”? Hoo hoo! 

Think of the effect that women aboard will have on the customary, and psychologically salutary, diction of submariners. Men would say, “Watch out for that effing torpedo you sack of shit!” If sailorwomen say it that way, will they still be women? If they say it that way, and keep it up, won’t that make the sailormen want to punch them in the goddamn mouth after a while? It is really tiresome to hear women talk like sailors. They can’t carry it off, any more than they could carry off a sailor; and so the sailormen find it intensely irritating when women try to “talk like a man.” On the other hand, the women sailors could say something like “OMG! Help me with the torpedo!” But that will make the male sailors want to punch them out, too. The whole thing stinks. Once women are on board ship, sailormen will never be able to talk with each other in their accustomed and venerable cheerful, friendly, familiar way. They’ll torture themselves, saying instead things like, “Oh I say old chap, do be careful of the torpedo!”

Laura writes:

Now that you mention it, men would benefit from using “literally” more often. I hadn’t noticed that they talk differently, at least anymore, when women are around. Though I know women who swear often, I’ve never met a woman who uses the f-word every 30 seconds as some men do. It gets literally annoying.

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