A COMMENTER at VFR has a hilarious take on the four women awarded “Sailor of the Year”Awards by the namby-pamby U.S. Navy and on the decadent practice of grown adults carrying water bottles with them everywhere, just like babies with their ba-bas. This country is run by adults who are not yet weaned. Do these sailors carry pacifiers and blankies too?

Patrick H. writes:

Three of the women have water bottles right by their feet, ready to give them their “constant supply of fluids,” no doubt. Probably the fourth woman has a bottle next to her but not visible. Remarkable, really, whether or not the bottles were put there for them or they put them there themselves. These women appear to have had the staggering demand placed on them of sitting in some chairs and then standing up for a while. In the open air! With the sun beating down on them with staggering stunning solar power! And perhaps they were even asked to speak … and we know how utterly dehydrating that activity is. But none of this matters. It could have been a cloudy day, no speech required, no standing, no sitting, nothing. None of it matters. The bottles would have been there anyway. The supply of fluids must be constant. Constant.

It does raise odd Freudian questions about suckling at the maternal teat, doesn’t it? To say nothing of the bizarre modern obsession with “detox,” achieved by flooding the system with enormous quantities of water, as if bodily toxins could simply be flushed out of one in a kind of miniature solipsistic version of the story of the Augean Stables. (And another obsession … the unfounded belief that everyone is dehydrated, almost all the time, whether they feel thirsty or not. The result is that we are expected to drink preposterous amounts of water–eight glasses a day!–whether we feel thirsty or not. This is, of course, insane. Our sense of thirst is very sensitive to real dehydration, and we could not possibly live day after day in such a state.)

All in all, a revealing picture. And not least because of the utterly unimpressive appearance of the women. Their sexlessness is obvious … those weird little hats women in the military wear have the effect of robbing even the most beautiful woman of any hint of sexiness (the intended effect, I am sure). But don’t the women also look utterly bland, dull, unformed, and singularly uninspiring? They don’t even stand at attention well (except for the third, the black woman who does look as if she might have some character, some strength in her). And yet, they probably deserve their award. After all, no matter how unimpressive the recipients of the award are, and how much more unimpressive are the ones they beat. And ultimately, how much more impressive they are than the ones who gave it to them.

                                            — Comments —

Jenny writes:

I haven’t looked at the article yet but did want to give my thoughts on the water bottle issue. They are everywhere! People cannot live without them it seems. Now that my little one is old enough for the water fountain, I’m finished packing them around for him. Good riddance! I will admit, though, to carrying one with me at all times when we first moved out west. I was thirsty all the time, but after a few months, my need for water went down dramatically.

I don’t mean to offend anyone. For me (the family pack mule) it is so freeing not to have carry around water bottles and then have to take them home and wash them and have them sitting out on counters to dry. Freedom!!!!

Laura writes:

I was in a restaurant the other dayand there was a little sign on the table that listed all the medical ill effects of dehydration. It said that if your water intake drops slightly, you are likely to become confused and unable to function mentally. The water industry has done a great job of convincing people that constant water consumption makes you smarter, thinner and more energetic.

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