Love Boot Camp
February 21, 2011
A. GUY MALIGNED, at his blog What Women Never Hear, continues to offer his love philosophy to women looking for husbands and to those who are already married. Marriage and courtship, he writes, founder where there is ignorance of fundamental sex differences. In one of his “Boot Camp for Girls” entries, Guy writes:
Feminine beats plain femaleness. Mystery beats full disclosure. Modesty beats masculine morality. Monogamy beats sexual freedom. All of it makes males back off from their naturally dominant personas, which helps fulfill female hopes and dreams.
Guy also offers good advice for men.
— Comments —
John E. writes:
To be sure, there are snippets of wisdom everywhere to be found on his blog from which I have benefited, even as a man, and his consistency in posting is admirable. However, of his overall approach, the best I can say is that I don’t understand it. His “About” page states “If one seeks a better understanding of the battle of the sexes, one needs to examine human behavior with emotions taken out, neutralized, or nullified. Remove positive influences such as love and religion and a host of negative and strong motivators such as envy, jealousy, prejudice, and hatred. Without these obstructions the basic nature of both sexes becomes discernable.”
But emotions, love, and religion are all characteristics that distinguish us as humans. Take them away and you don’t have “pure” human nature, you have something that isn’t human nature at all. Consequently, he makes foundational statements such as the following of men, that “they do whatever the female gender requires for frequent and convenient access to sex,” which is stated so crudely that it is insulting, putting aside whether it is even accurate or not.
Also, he does not shy away from saying difficult things to women, but his flattery of women obscures his message.
This is my take on his overall approach. Have I failed to consider something?
Laura writes:
Yes, we can’t understand sex differences by removing the influences of love and religion. And to reduce male motivation to sexual desire – well, that’s a serious simplification.
I don’t always agree with Guy. For instance, in one recent post, he said women seek self-importance and men seek self-admiration. He didn’t hit the nail on the head there, or I didn’t get what he was driving at. Nevertheless, I like the way he plunges in and tries to figure out marital scenarios. He reminds women that husbands need physical attention and men that wives need words and small gestures of affirmation. Guy does a good job of drawing attention to those points. His advice for unmarried women is also worthwhile. Many unmarried women assume men will like them more if they have intimate relations right from the start. Guy explains why this is a false and often disastrous assumption.