FEW DISCUSSIONS here have engendered more partisan passion here than this one over whether guests should remove their shoes when they enter a friend’s home. This issue is apparently important, but I can’t figure out why. It seems the Asian custom of shoelessness indoors is catching on. Some readers adamantly defend it on the ground of cleanliness and others as adamantly reject it.

Here are a few points of my own:

• There is good reason why this custom exists in Asia, where people traditionally have eaten on the floor or on tables close to the floor. It is wrong to object to this custom in Asia.

• Many Westerners look silly in socks or slippers. I don’t know why. It is a mystery.

• Some Westerners, in addition to those who live in cold places where everyone walks around in boots for seven months out of the year, have made this indoor shoelessness their custom. There are reasonable arguments for it, and it’s wrong to object as a guest.

• If a host wants guests to remove their shoes, he should not come right out and ask them to do it. Instead, he could say, “You can put your shoes in the foyer if you like.”

• Coarse door mats or mats with brushes can remove much of the dirt off shoes.

• Guests should automatically remove muddy or wet shoes.

• Germs thrive in moist environments. Shoes are not major carriers of dangerous germs for this reason.

• Children slip more easily when they run in socks. They can injure their feet without protection and they can become so accustomed to wearing socks that they find shoes uncomfortable and take them off even when people expect them to keep them on. It’s a good idea for children to wear something on their feet other than socks when inside.

I have friends who practice this custom of shoelessness in their homes. I do not resent it at all. However, the truth is, I do not like walking around in socks. They wick up  dirt when they get even a little bit wet, which they often do if one walks through the kitchen. I always wear shoes when I am in my own house. Perhaps this is because I was once injured when I dropped a full plastic soda bottle on my shoeless foot.

                                            — Comments —

Karen I. writes:

You made a good point about children slipping when they are not wearing shoes and you are right that they should have something other than just socks when inside. One time, I left my daughter with a relative while I went to a medical appointment. She was five at the time. The relative had her remove her shoes but let her run around in her socks. When she ran to the bathroom on the slick wood floor, she slipped and fell. When she fell, she broke her hand! It was a terrible ordeal for her to go through. The break was in her dominant hand at a growth plate. The doctors cautioned us that she could not fall on it again as it healed or she could sustain permanent damage. It was winter and I was worried she would fall on the ice that was everywhere outdoors. We were so relieved when the hand was finally healed after many weeks. 

My kids have allergies and I have heard that one recommendation for limiting allergens in a home is to have everyone remove their shoes when they enter. It makes sense, but after what happened to my daughter, I would never do this. It just is not worth the risk of another fall.

A reader writes:

The shoe discussion seems not worth getting bent out of shape over. However, I am bewildered – “Asian custom”? I have lived my whole life in Caucasian, suburban Canada, and as far as I am aware, it’s proper to remove your shoes when you enter someone’s house. You just do it; I’m not sure I understand claims to the contrary.

Besides being a matter of etiquette, I suppose I remove shoes in my own home as a sort of symbolic separation: shoes are for “the outside”. When I am home, I want to relax; I want my home life and the hectic “outside world” to be separate. (Same reason I like commuting to work: it allows me to leave work *behind* when I come home.)

Laura writes:

It seems to be more common in cold places where snowy boots are worn. Where I live in the Northeastern United States, it is not the normal thing for guests to do except during the relatively short period when people are wearing boots.

Eric writes:

My wife enforces the no-shoes policy in our house. After a struggle, I got used to it. She did it because it makes cleaning easier, but I like it because the act of removing shoes at the threshold underlines the fact that you are entering a protected space – our home.

Mrs. P. writes:

Everything I have read indicates that children benefit from going barefoot. It helps them develop stronger and more coordinated muscles in their feet. They develop a better gait when allowed to go barefoot. They are less likely to end up with flat feet and other foot problems. The younger the child the more important it is for them to go without shoes as much as possible, but of course in a safe environment. The safest environment possible is in the house.

If children must wear socks in the house to keep their feet warm, then socks with skid bumps are the answer to the problem of slipping and falling if they are running in the house. But, honestly, just as children should not be jumping on the bed (ten little monkeys jumping on the bed…..) they should not be running in the house either. Shoes or no shoes, it is not a good idea to run in the house.

Like you, Laura, I almost always wear shoes in my home. Sturdy ones. This is because I have lost much of the fatty cushion on the bottom of my feet and it hurts me to walk barefoot on my hardwood floors. Last fall I discovered that slippers are not always a good alternative to shoes when I caught my one slipper on the threshold of the door leading out to our garage. I fell forward onto the top of that foot somehow and broke the toe next to my big toe. There isn’t much that can be done for a toe break. The toe lays cock-eyed now….and my dream of becoming a foot model late in life has been dashed.

Laura writes:

Bare feet are a good idea for children for the reasons you mention, but there’s no question they lead to some injuries.

Dean Ericson writes:

The Shoe Wars remind me of the Toilet Paper Wars, that series of passionately fought battles on the contentious issue of whether the end of the toilet paper should properly go to the front or to the rear of the roll. First erupting among the polite readers of Ann Landers and Dear Abby, the TPW quickly divided America into two warring camps then spread to engulf the entire planet. Wikipedia has a fascinating article on the shocking tragedy which every serious toilet paper partisan should read.

Of course, everyone knows that only savages, cretins, and liberals place the end of the roll in front, and that propriety, piety, and natural law require that the end be placed towards the rear, so there is no need to waste time refighting that old war here. And the shoes come off in the house, so that settles that. Now, let peace and comity reign undisturbed on earth.

Bruce writes:

Bare feet are great indoors – so long as you have carpets and central heating, which many do not – great, that is, ninety-nine-point-nine-percent of the time. The other point-one percent of the time you catch your baby toe on the bunk ladder as you are striding past, dislocate and break the toe, and suffer weeks of immobility and pain.

Perhaps well-ventilated slippers are the best compromise? 

Laura writes:

Bare feet can be great. Slippers, by the way, won’t necessarily protect your toe in the scenario you mention. I think I am prejudiced on this issue by the fact that my toe was almost severed when I dropped a soda bottle when I was a child.

Amelia B. writes:

I’d just like to chime in that if you have small children, pets, or even large children with a habit of lounging on the floor (as our family often does while playing board games), the amount of chemicals that shoes introduce to the home is a legitimate matter of concern. Lawn pesticides, fertilizer, cleaning supplies, oil, gasoline, and pet excrement could all be clinging unseen on one’s shoes. Anyone who works in a science lab, hospital, construction facility or food service industry comes into contact with even more questionable materials. The presence of chemicals in the home is a serious issue, and if wouldn’t want your children rolling around on all the places that you walk, you shouldn’t track all those chemicals back to your rugs at home. Please notice that I’m talking about chemicals, and not germs. The former often contaminate regardless of temperature and moisture.

Laura writes:

Excellent point. 

I would like to remind readers that this discussion initially concerned the issue of what hosts should require of their guests, and that issue is what my points above  addressed. As far as habitual use in the privacy of one’s home, slippers, bare feet, indoor shoes, regular shoes – they all make sense in their own way, but the question is of more concern when there are young children around, as Mrs. Nelson pointed out in the previous entry.  

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