READERS of this blog know that history is divided into various phases: the Middle Ages, the Renaissance, the Enlightenment and now, the Age of Pizza.

A teenager I know is a student at one of the fanciest prep schools in the country. He recently attended his senior prom. No expense was spared for the event, which was held in a major football stadium. (A father of a student owns the team that uses the stadium.) Limos were rented. Girls agonized over their gowns. Corsages were purchased. Pre-prom and pre-pre-pre-prom parties were held.

What, you might wonder, was served to eat at this first formal occasion for these excited students? Pizza. The students stood around in their formal attire eating pizza.

The pizza-fication of America proceeds apace. It is only a matter of time before pizza is served at all state dinners and banquets. Pizza is to modern cuisine what socialism is to political life. It represents the leveling of aspiration. It is the only significant consequence of radical democracy that Alexis de Tocqueville failed to predict. Pizza is the denim of dining. It even tastes like blue jeans. Pizza is the anti-soul food.

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