JOHN E. writes:

Thank you for directing attention in your post “The Father and His Rightful Authority” to this very good essay. It is a unique admonition to men in that it presents first what is positively expected of men as husbands, and doesn’t mince words in doing so. Most admonitions men hear these days, if they are positive at all, are positive only in a weak or vaguely general sense, and reserve the specifics and forceful statements to be made in the negative, such as “Husbands, don’t lord it over your wives!” Men in our society are understandably scratching their heads wondering what they could possible hold in their possession with which to lord over their wives in the first place!

To illustrate what I mean by positive expectations of men, I quote from earlier in the essay than the portion you quoted. I suspect that most men who read this essay would be greatly encouraged by these words:

Since the husband must provide and protect his family, not just physically but spiritually from those things which can psychologically, morally and spiritually harm his family, he enjoys a certain spiritual power. It is for this reason that prayers, sufferings and good works offered to God for the spiritual protection and providence of his family are of key importance. It pertains to the father, first and foremost, to protect his children spiritually…Since the husband has been entrusted to protect his wife and children spiritually, if the demonic attack his family, the merits of the father to ward off the demonic are more powerful by virtue of his office as husband than his wife’s. Moreover, since the demons must respect the order of authority, the father enters more efficaciously into the spiritual warfare with the demonic since ultimately they must submit to the order of authority established by God.

These words fill a man with an awesome sense of responsibility, and sound a resonant calling deep within his nature. If a man truly understands his calling in this way, his life will be in harmony with his nature, and he will understand better how serious a matter it is to himself and to those he holds under his authority when he fails to discharge his calling. For this reason, Fr. Ripperger’s approach is unique and better than most I’ve encountered in instructing men in their calling. If men come to know their positive nature, if it is not obscured from their eyes, they would more easily teach themselves what is not to be done, what is less than the high calling, and they would do this without having to be subject to denigrating tut-tut’s or finger waggings that are so commonplace in trying to force men to fit in with society.

Sara writes:

My husband and I read “The Father and His Rightful Authority” last night, and we couldn’t agree more. We have been married for seven years and we have found that we’ve become unpopular with other married couples our age. When we’re among family or strangers we occasionally feel looked down upon. He has a younger brother who is intending on marrying this year, and an older married brother that is getting a divorce. Both have very ‘forward’ wives; they are loud, aggressive and brash. There is no soft femininity present; they proclaim themselves feminists and often tease me about my views on married life.

In my small family of my husband, myself and our five-year-old daughter, my husband has authority. I have a fair say; he asks my opinion and thoughts on almost everything from small things to work issues. Contrary to what my feminist stepmother and the wives of my brother-in-laws say, I’m not a slave. I’m not a servant. I’m treated much more fairly than they are.

Instead of being feared, I’m respected. We have a balance and this leads to peace and the opportunity for love to truly blossom in our home. In crude terms, I know my place, he knows his place, our daughter knows her place. There is no struggle for power, there is no fighting for imaginary rights, there are no accusations of who has to do what job.

My husband goes to work in the morning. He returns at night. He worked hard as a youth and now we’re living very comfortably. I do the housework. I cook dinner. I take care of my daughter on the six days when she’s not at preschool. On weekends we go as a family to the gallery, the museum, the park, the cinema or to a children’s farm that is close to our house.

I love my husband immensely. I respect him just as much.

Our daughter is asked her opinion too, her daily routine is choosing Daddy’s tie for the day. She undertakes this huge responsibility {in her mind} with pride and tells me she loves doing things to help Daddy. When she comes home from school she helps me to finish the housework and she helps me to cook dinner. On the days she doesn’t go to school, she helps me do the housework, we go to the library or the park, and then come home to start cooking.

I have noticed a huge difference in the relationship between my daughter and her father, and the relationship between her cousins and their father. Her cousins don’t respect their fathers. They don’t follow directions; they defy him and he doesn’t enforce it. Their mother is the ultimate authority. They both work full time, but when they are home mother is the one to ask. Their mother also tells off her husband as if he’s another child.

                                                               — End of Initial Entry —

A reader writes:

“Since the husband must provide and protect his family, not just physically but spiritually from those things which can psychologically, morally and spiritually harm his family, he enjoys a certain spiritual power.”

This relates to the previous posts on pornography, which ends up harming the entire family.

Or else how can one enter into a strong man’s house, and spoil his goods, except he first bind the strong man? and then he will spoil his house. Matthew 12:29

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