KATE writes:

I wanted to make a comment that goes along with the caregiver’s comment in the previous entry, and that speaks to the differences between children who are in day “care” and those who are raised early in the home. It is absurd to me that we are still having this debate. I guess we just don’t (or won’t) believe the truth, no matter the evidence that abounds. I have been working in the “early educaton field” for almost 30 years now, and have been in every scenario. I’ve worked in “childcare/preschool;” private sector, Christian/Church, public schools, and now, Head Start. I teach in a classroom where I rarely see any parents. My children are bused (yes, three- and four-year-olds) to and from school every day, with the exception of two or three who are brought to school by a family member. The separation anxiety I now see is children totally disconnecting from the parent image. They are so disregarded at home, they have not bonded truly with anyone, except for maybe an older sibling. Some of these young parents are taken care of by the government, and rarely have a reason to get out of bed in the morning, and most don’t. Some of my kids are outside waiting on the bus by themselves at early hours of the morning. I was so shocked when began I to work in the field, but now I have grown accustomed to it, as there is nothing else I can do. I mother these children as best I can, and many of them become so attached, that by the end of the year, they cry when they have to go home, and realize that the school year is over.

I had one child who had such anger/attachment issues that he used profanity like a sailor, called everyone in his path ass-hole, shit-head, f’ing ugly, and a few other choice names, which, of course, came from home. In fits of anger, he would overturn heavy tables, throw chairs across the room, one by one, rip bulletin boards down from walls, wipe everything off from shelves, etc. I couldn’t believe my eyes, in many instances. I would come home black and blue from trying to restrain him. And the sad part is that every classroom had at least one or two like him, if not more. 

We all attend numerous “workshops” on handling the “challenging child” and “challenging behaviors.” All I want to do sometimes is just stand up and scream, “We’re all nuts for believing all of this guff!” These babies need to be at home, they are screaming, crying out for it. Saying that children are not affected, and that daycare is “good” for the child and the working mother is completely ludicrous, and those who believe it are certainly deluded and naive to say the very least. Some argue that these children are better off at school than at home, and in some cases this is true. However, we have created a society that so disregards motherhood and its importance, that young people are given no training whatsoever, besides sex education (also known as permission to have safe sex), on how to be a parent. We need to go all the way back to the beginning, to truly solve this problem. 

Thank you for listening to my tirade, and thanks for your excellent writing. I hope one day this country will get back to the truth.

                                                              — Comments —

A Grateful Reader writes:

The following quote is from your previous post, “An Ignored Report on the Effects of Day Care:” 

“Interestingly, the study found that non-white children were less negatively affected by day care. ‘More hours in child care was associated with an increase in positive mother–child interactions for non-White families through the 1st grade.’ The study drew no conclusions as to why this would be so.” 

Perhaps Kate provides us with a “conclusion” as to why this would be so.

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