KAREN I. writes:

Sometimes I have something that is bothering me, but it is hard to put into words until something on your website helps to clarify what it is that I am struggling with. Your recent entry “Anxiety and Weather,” which was about how liberalism induces anxiety, is one of those posts. 

What you write about liberalism with regard to anxiety is correct. It is apparent when it comes to the weather, but as a person with a chronic illness, I see the tendency for many people to seek perfection when it comes to illness. They refuse to accept that sometimes, there comes a point when good enough is the best that can be done. The idea of living with a lifelong illness fills them with anxiety. It is not uncommon for people with my condition (and many others) to search high and low for a “cure” to their upsetting symptoms, despite doctor after doctor saying that these things are part of the illness and they will not go away. Symptoms can often be greatly improved, but often they will come and go as is common with autoimmune diseases. I am a patient of the top doctors in my state for my condition and they all made this perfectly clear in plain English from the start. 

However, when I used to visit websites for patients with this condition, I commonly found patients vilifying their doctors for not “curing” them. They refused to accept that they cannot be 100 percent cured of a chronic illness for which doctors with impressive credentials freely admit there is no cure, only treatment. They refuse to accept they may look or feel a bit sick sometimes. Many patients will go from doctor to doctor, and will take or try anything to relieve them of their upsetting symptoms. They drain their bank accounts in the process. They seem to make no attempt to merely live with or accept the condition, because they are certain if they can just find the right doctor or the right pill, they will be cured. The search for a cure becomes a religion to those who don’t have any other religion. 

I see this same tendency with relatives and others who don’t have any religion. They are so anxious, they simply cannot accept that I have an incurable condition. There can’t be such a thing. I must be making it up. They never heard of it before, so it must be fake. Or, there must be a cure out there somewhere. They have a lot of suggestions, which often include eating or not eating one thing or another. “Herbs” of various sorts, along with magazine articles are often mentioned. I suppose that my genius doctors have not heard that “herbs” can cure just about everything and I guess they are too busy reading medical journals to know that women’s magazines have the inside scoop on all the latest cures. 

I don’t discuss my condition. It isn’t a secret though and people who know of it somehow feel entitled to bring it up when they see fit. I could write a very long and heartfelt post about the decline of manners in our society. Sometimes, people bring the issue up when I am feeling just fine and don’t want to be reminded of it! But, they cannot contain their anxiety and they push it on me by bringing up the issue when I least want to discuss it. Anxious people are insensitive to others, because they are so wrapped up in their own feelings.

Laura writes:

The search for a cure becomes a religion to those who don’t have any other religion.

That is very well said. You have described a familiar phenomenon so accurately.

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