MODERN DENTISTRY is remarkable. Everytime I go to the dentist – and lately I have been there a lot – the instruments of torture have been streamlined and updated. It’s true that the jackhammer used to blow a tooth to smithereens is not much quieter than the jackhammers of yesteryear. But many other things are different. The new chairs are sleek and fashionable. They don’t suggest pain and suffering at all. Or at least not physical pain. They look like they belong in a spa, and that indicates financial suffering only. My dentist now gives patients sunglasses to protect the eyes from the new lighting (or from the sight of daggers.) And the various glues and adhesives are more pungent than before, suggesting they are stronger and more effective.

I admire these wonders. I am extremely grateful. “Thank you so much!” I always say when I leave this spa. I say so out of genuine, deeply-felt gratitude and also from the abiding hope that my dentist will like me so much he will cause me no more pain or at least charge less for it. 

My dentist recently referred to one of my back molars as “the tooth from hell.” He is determined and optimistic. He says we can save it. He reminds me of Dr. De Soto, the efficient, sterling character of the children’s book of the same name by William Steig. My dentist and Dr. De Soto both have a strong work ethic. Dr. De Soto is a mouse, but his unflappability is the same.

In the book, Dr. De Soto treats animals in his home office. He treats all animals, that is, except those who eat mice. 

One day, a fox comes to Dr. De Soto’s door with a horrible toothache. “Please have mercy!” he says. (I know the feeling.) He is in sheer agony. Dr. De Soto and his wife, who is his assistant, are sympathetic. They decide to make an exception and let in an animal who typically eats mice.

The doctor extracts the fox’s tooth with his system of ingenious pulleys. (It’s not easy for a mouse to extract teeth from a much larger animal, but that’s what he does for a living.) He gives the fox anaesthesia during the operation. Under the effects of the medication, the fox voices his desire to eat Dr. De Soto and his assistant during his follow-up appointment:

“He didn’t know what he was saying,” said Mrs. De Soto later to her husband. “Why should he harms us? We’re helping him.”

”Because he’s a fox,’ said Dr. De Soto. ‘They’re wicked, wicked creatures.”

Mrs. De Soto suggests maybe not letting the fox in the next day when he returns for his gold tooth. “Once I start a job, I finish it. My father was the same way,” her husband says. (That’s what I mean about the work ethic.)

What happens next is testament to the technological innovation that is so impressive in the field of dentistry.

The fox returns to get his gold tooth. Dr. De Soto puts the new tooth in. The fox is pleased and says, “It’s just beautiful.”

The dentist then asks the fox if he would like to be treated with “a remarkable preparation” that once applied to the teeth will rid him of all future toothaches. The fox happily agrees. (Who wouldn’t?) Dr. De Soto “step(s) into the fox’s mouth with a bucket of secret formula.” It’s glue. A short time later, the fox stumbles away with his mouth glued completely shut.

There is almost nothing a smart dentist cannot do.

The fox says “Frank oo berry mush” with clenched teeth. His gratitude is familiar.

                                                                      — Comments —

L. writes:

Sorry to hear that you’ve had to visit the dentist for more than the normal tooth cleaning.

Are you taking Vitamin D? A neurologist named Stephan Guyenet did a post on a study done by a certain Dr. Mellanby from the 1920s:

I’m not in the “paleo” food crowd that Dr. Guyenet advocates, just a spectator for now. However, I did conclude from the article and the presentation of Dr. Mellanby’s research that Vitamin D supplementation is the single easiest change you can do to improve your dental health. Having been convinced, my wife and I have been taking Vitamin D for over a year. My wife is prone to cavities, but this change seems to have reduced her susceptibility to cavities. She’s had cavities throughout her life. (Yes. She knows she eats too much sugar…) Prior to starting Vitamin D supplementation and just after having weaned my first son, she went to the dentist and they discovered many cavities. I’ve heard that nursing can be particularly detrimental to dental health because the baby literally milks the minerals out of the lady’s teeth. Anyways, she is still nursing our second son after having been on Vitamin D for over a year. Just this week she went into the dentist for her normal teeth cleaning at about the same time after the birth of our second son as when she went to the dentist after the birth of our first son. She has no new cavities and no “we’ll have to watch that” spots from her dentist. This is quite unusual for her as she almost always has to get a cavity drilled or they warn her about some part of her teeth.

I can’t be certain that the vitamin D supplementation is the only cause of her improved dental health as we are always tweaking our environment as we learn new things. I realize this is anecdotal evidence, but I wanted to encourage you to look into vitamin D supplementation if you haven’t already.

Laura writes:

Frank oo berry mush for the suggestions. That’s interesting.

I haven’t had a cavity in, oh, centuries. Not since I was a little girl. But I had a lot of them then (even though I did brush my teeth and only ate candy once a day.) 

My teeth now crack easily. My mother had every single one of her teeth crowned years ago. Her dentist (who was my dentist when I was a little girl) told her that her teeth were so soft they would fall apart sooner or later. He charged her $80 a crown, which is very cheap. Besides, he was a great conversationalist and she enjoyed his company. My sisters all spend lots of time in the dentist’s chamber too. So it seems genetic, or at least I like to think so. (I don’t even eat candy anymore.)

I do take Vitamin D though and will keep taking it. Franks.

Karen I. writes:

My 12-year-old is starting Phase II of an orthodontic nightmare that began when he was seven with a palatal expander which was an attempt to save permanent teeth from extraction. Phase I cost thousands of dollars and we recently learned it did not have adequate results. Four permanent molars need to be extracted. That was bad news, but then it got even worse. Routine bite-wing x-rays taken at last week’s cleaning showed his wisdom teeth are coming in unusually early. They look like they are going to be impacted and painful. The poor kid is going to need eight extractions and maybe jaw surgery. He’s been referred to a maxillofacial surgeon at a major children’s hospital. That is all in addition to braces, of course. There is no way around it and four professionals are currently working together to plan his complex course of treatment. I know it is for the best, but I feel awful about the whole thing. 

The idea about vitamin D is a good one. My doctor told me that about 85% of people in areas of the country that do not get a lot of sun are deficient, including me. However, we are learning that much of what can go wrong with teeth is hereditary and given your mother’s history, there is probably little you could do. I had extractions, braces, etc. when I was a child but my husband did not. He had perfectly straight teeth. He is shocked that our son is going through so much with his teeth, and at the price tag attached to it all. I showed him pictures of what I looked like before braces, so he should not be surprised! 

I hope your dental work goes well for you. The only good part about it all is that once the major work is done, you should have a nice, pain free smile for years to come.

Laura writes:

Thanks.

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