A World Without Pizza
October 18, 2011
I WAS initially moved to tears by Herman Cain’s rendition of John Lennon’s “Imagine.” Cain, former CEO of Godfather’s Pizza, imagines a world without pizza. As soon as he sang the words, “Imagine there’s no pizza,” the dam broke and I wept, envisioning an America devoid of discarded crusts. The Pizza Industrial Complex fell away. I was brought to reality again when the politician bellowed, “Give pizza a chance.” There are many things that deserve a chance. Pizza is not one of them.
It is only a matter of time before America has a pizza president.
— Comments —
Greg Jinkerson writes:
Thomas Fleming wrote a brilliant takedown of Herman Cain yesterday, that includes some brilliant remarks on the meaning of pizza:
Conservatives also say they like Cain’s Christian ‘family values’ rhetoric. Apparently they do not know that politicians hardly ever mean what they say or that they hire speechwriters to put the lies in their mouths they are too inarticulate to concoct. It does not matter what politicians say but what they do, and since Herman Cain has never done anything, he has no record to apologize for.
You will object that Cain did, after all, run a large part of Burger King and Godfather’s Pizza.
That’s right. He efficiently managed two junk food operations that sold unspeakable filth and called it food.
Perhaps Cain is right. The United States is a junkfood nation, and our government is the political equivalent of Burger King and Coca Cola.
Who better to organize the junk than a man who supervised the operation of perhaps the worst ‘pizza’ product ever sold to a gullible public.
I take it all back. Herman! Herman! Herman!
