The Artist's Wife with their children, Philip and Caterina, Hans Holbein the Younger (1528)

THE current practice of referring to mothers as “moms” and women at home as “stay-at-home moms” is part of the trivialization of motherhood, as I discuss here. Mommy-ness suggests fun and play. But motherhood is, by its very nature, sacrificial. Even in modern life, the mother is called upon to give up self and die for others.

When motherhood is equated with fun, it is often shocking for women to learn the truth. They may think something is wrong with them that it is so difficult. By contrast, a job may seem easy. The expectations are clear and the rewards are concrete. Besides when people say, “What do you do?” which they inevitably will in a world in which identity is based on career and consumption, a woman can hold her head up high and say, “I am a teacher” or “I am a lawyer” or “I am a marketing associate.” By comparison, to say, “I am a stay-at-home mom” suggests she is a child herself and has yet to grow up and enter the real world.

The mother has gone since the time of the above portrait by Hans Holbein from heroine to playmate.

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