BRUCE writes:

I recently (inadvertently) overheard a long conversation between a group of upper middle class, full- time mothers who had met in a cafe.

Naturally, children were a major topic – since this was apprently the main factor bringing them together.

Aside from this, the first 20 minutes was mainly occupied with discussions of diets and exercise regimes. The strongest approval was given to extreme long distance running exploits and thinness, the strongest disapproval to examples of obesity.

After this, a particular person arrived who for the next 30 minutes-plus spoke for more than 95 percent of the time in a whiny and almost unceasing voice, with a litany of complaints and personal concerns relating to people offending or upsetting her or the people she cared about failing to recognise her entitlements.

Any attempt to broaden the conversation was spoken-down and redirected to the subject of … herself. The rest of the company was reduced to (feigned?) empathic murmurs or brief comments. To my amazement, nobody left the group, not even to ‘visit the toilet’ – perhaps they were transfixed by a Basilisk-like glare from Mrs Me-me-me.

What this unrelentingly self-centred individual clearly needed was some tough love (with the emphasis on tough), some home truths about her attitudes and expectations – but somehow the rest of the company was locked into automatic approval of whatever she said.

I found myself comparing this with the highly ‘judgmental’ ways in which women apparently related in, for example, old novels; how women then seemed to be dedicated to keeping each other in-line, with sharp words and sanctions against those who were selfish.

 Well, not any more!

 The whole episode brought home how very, very different are men and women’s interests and behaviors.

 Laura writes:

Men have their own ways of dominating other men. My guess is that Mrs. Me-me-me was physically attractive. Is that correct?

Anyone prepared to openly teach Mrs. Me-me-me some self-restraint was probably in for a fight. Nevertheless, there are subtle ways they could have put her in her place, such as getting up and going to the bathroom or looking away and refusing to grant her the full atttention she expected.

Bruce is right. Women today have little concept of their role as guardians of behavior. Housewives and full-time mothers don’t have a sense of their own dignity, let alone the will to cultivate dignity in others. (Wearing play clothes, focusing obsessively on weight and leaping and galloping at a gym don’t foster a sense of dignity either.) Ultimately, it’s not kind to let a friend be so full of herself.

Bruce responds:

In fact, I had my back to the group and was careful not to look around. I didn’t want to catch any eyes, because I was worried that I might see somebody I knew (I have lived in the general area on and off for 35 years, so I do know a lot of people at least by sight). I was doing some paperwork in the opposite corner of the room, but there was nobody else in the room.

I did notice – from what she said – that she was divorced/ separated; while the others seemed not to be. Perhaps they felt sorry for her?

I found myself speculating what they *should* have been talking about (apart from their families – which is fine and natural), if not what they did. I suppose I would have *liked* them to be discussing good works, the church, things they liked reading, things like knitting or cooking.. but not their struggle to conform to an ever-receding ideal of youth, thinness and physical prowess.

It was as if the genuinely successful women, who are prosperous, married, have children and are housewives, are envious of the younger and fitter unattached career women with serial causal partners – and by comparison found their lives empty. I hope not – but I think that is often the case in this post-Christian society.

Laura writes:

Yes, you are right.

That reminds me of a party I once attended where there were a number of mothers with young children. A woman entered who was married with no children. She was very attractive and well put together and within minutes she reduced every other woman in the gathering to a state of smallness by her talk of her fascinating career. It didn’t have to be that way. I could see the looks of self-effacement on the mothers’ faces. Instead of turning away from this child-woman, they granted her the attention she obviously thought she deserved.

                                      — Comments —

Alissa writes:

 Mrs. Me-me-me reminds me of the Reality TV Show “Real Housewives” (there’s one for Atlanta and another for OC). These women are self-absorbed, vain and as a whole catty little specimens (is the show even real? Doubt it). This is what happens when you let liberals, who despise and reject femininity and motherhood, to dictate the rules for femininity and motherhood. You end up with parodies of what womanhood is about. You end up with women looking up to the wrong models.

Jill Farris writes:

Mrs. Me-me-me can be found anywhere (inside and outside of church). In my younger days I allowed myself to be cornered by Mrs. Me-me-me because she would often fool me into thinking she wanted advice. It took me a while to wise up to the fact that some women will constantly be in crisis due to many unwise and willful decisions. These are the same women who wring their hands at the evil and ugly behavior of their grown children and lament, “I did everything I could….” Really?

There are women of integrity who spend their time serving and blessing others but it has been my experience that these women don’t have time for endless coffee talks and lunch dates. I call these women the “hidden” women; they don’t care who gets the credit for what they do, they just humbly spend their time doing what is right before God and man.

Please follow and like us: