When Men Were Men – And Could Be Together
February 1, 2012
RENÉE writes:
I am struck by the image of Victorian men mentioned by one of the commenters in the entry about “men’s studies” — probably because I read quite a bit of literature from that time period. When I think of men from that era I often picture them smoking a pipe in the company of men, not just discussing business but engaging in friendly banter, and developing male camaraderie. Men in our country and throughout the world have always had a place to gather as men, not just as workers, but as friends. And it only makes sense. Men are the ones who go to war and that requires a great deal of trust and respect to fight with and for one another.
Feminists have fought to enter into every sphere of the male world, not just in the public sphere, but in private spheres as well. They protested any club that excluded women. Many men today have not experienced healthy male bonding. I wonder how many men who are in sports and garner some semblance of what it’s like to live in a world where men have room to be men and brothers would make the statements these men’s studies professors make.
— Comments —
Fred Owens writes:
This gives me a sad rather than angry feeling — about what used to be, simple things like hanging out at the barbershop when I was a kid, reading comic books, waiting for a haircut, listening to the baseball game on the radio. All men gathered in this local spot, not by law, but by custom. A Mom might bring in a young boy for his haircut and she would be welcome, but she didn’t stay because the barber shop was a place for men.
I don’t even want to talk about how it is now — that would ruin a lovely morning here in southern California.
Unfortunately such aspects have been destroyed in modern culture. On one hand this was due to feminists, on the other hand it was due to the hypersexualization of men, partly due to hookup culture, partly due to campaigns from homosexual activists. All of these factors have created an environment where men can’t even befriend one another without some fool thinking of it as a sexual gesture. Male friendship, female friendship and a healthy relationship between the sexes have all been sacrificed at the altar of modernity.
Now women barge in on this cigar smoking, so it’s no fun at all. For myself, I never really liked cigars, but I enjoyed the male company.
I have also seen women adopt disgusting male habits such as spitting and belching out loud. Ugh!
Having said that, it’s not all bad. Women rarely go fishing. I was on a party boat last summer off the ocean in Ventura — all guys, with a few women.
I went to a morning coffee group for years in the Skagit Valley in rural Washington, drinking coffee with farmers and fishermen and so forth. David always came with his wife Helen, who was the only the woman present. But she never disturbed the setting, she never “held forth” competitively as the men are inclined to do. She wasn’t there to disrupt or monitor our behavior, so I thought it was all right.
At the local Kiwanis Club there was some quiet debate whether to encourage women to join, or to just have enough women members (tokenism) to avoid complaint.
