JOHN PURDY writes:

According to the Times’ obituary of Adrienne Rich, “poetry’s formalist rigors gave Ms. Rich something to rebel against.”

Huh, what century was Adrienne Rich living in? It’s probably been a hundred years since there was anything like ‘formalist rigor’ in poetry. Anyway, just to prove the Right (i.e. non-marginalised men) can produce bad modernist poetry too… 

Canto 1 – Allegro Fantastico

Abysmal. Destiny’s girl

clings to superstitious

practices, heavy tits swaying

in the dance of cliffside fires,

her moon festival pell-mell.

Slither away certainty,

timid vineyard snake of doom.

Let her prance in my jacket,

swivel her hips, lips red

with memories, matings and musk.

Kate’s pearls skitter on her chest.

I’m back to reality.

It’s my turn to burst into bloom,

as I croon, and inhale:

The diverse rhythms of breath.

Cataclysmic tellings,

murky, unpleasant happenings

layered, crazy and churning,

pit chance against purpose. No.

This girl is a liar, my friend.

The return limits the pen.

Written tersely, sent by wire

jet black river of hate pissing.

Hackles of rage raised, dirt,

urn of ashes – turn to nil.

Learn a higher fate in days.

Cancel cheques in the mail.

Settle back into wellness.

Lend me clay for a statue.

I’m tired and hurt, a hick fool.

Simple dwellings turn inward

in wind. Marimba roof clatters

and quakes with rain patterns.

Saint, devil, simian, churl.

Abysmal. Destiny’s girl.

— Comments —

Mr. Purdy writes:

Thanks for publishing me. I feel so proud! The poem could be read as her husband’s lament from beyond the grave.

This is actually a fairly sophisticated parody of modernism, based on syllabic meter (seven syllables per line) and a palindromic verse structure based on 35 syllables against 49 syllables producing stanzas of 35:14:21:28:7:35:7:28:21:14:35 syllables. (I am a computer geek after all.) The sound character is governed by clusters of phonemes, a mixture of consonants and vowels, producing assonance, alliteration and rhyme that pervades the piece.

Glad you enjoyed it.

 Laura writes:

You’re welcome. I am glad to have such extraordinary talent on display here.

Ah, it’s written from her husband’s perspective. Of course, I should have thought of that.

I hope this might someday appear in an anthology of men’s verse. “Timid vineyard snake of doom” — that sends shivers up my spine. It’s very powerful.

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