THOMAS F. BERTONNEAU writes:

I want to tell you about an amazing new dinner product from the American food industry, Higgs Boson Helper. When added to absolutely nothing and placed in a casserole dish, Higgs Boson Helper immediately adds mass to your main course. It’s microwaveable and comes in four savory flavors: Muon, Gluon, Meson, and Quark. As Scarlet O’Hara said, “I’ll never be hungry again!”

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