ON THE occasion of her father’s illness, Lydia Sherman reflects on the value he and others of his generation have placed on privacy. She writes:

Privacy today is looked at as some kind of a flaw. The people born back in the 1920’s, as my parents were, kept certain things to themselves, and in my observation, it kept their children and those around them more polite and calm. Today, curiosity is considered bright and intelligent, which, to a point, it is, but it has to be used for the right things. Too much airing of personal things can create a very nervous society.

As I learn more about the heritage of these people, I realize why they were able to accomplish so much. They reduced their words and increased their activity. They didn’t constantly express their anxieties or explain details of their lives. This brought a sense of settled peace and contentment. Because you could not get verbal information, you would observe, and usually, what you saw in the lives of these people was a reflection of what they believed and what they were up to. You did not have to question it.

Privacy is not respected today, and the older generation complains about it. As I grow older I notice that people ask questions and expect the answers, and sometimes will re-phrase the question in hopes of extracting the answer. As I get older, I’ve received questions about my plans for where I will go when I get old, and how much money I have, as well as things like, “Haven’t you had your wisdom teeth extracted?” and “Are you experiencing the ‘change of life’ yet?” and other personal questions that make me blush.

The older generation does not just believe in privacy, they practice privacy. They believe, as I do, that practicing your beliefs and standing your ground establishes them in the minds of others.

We have been bombarded with so much of the “tell all” mentality, where nothing is personal anymore, that an older person is looked at as an oddity if he does not want to answer personal questions.

—- Comments —-

Paul writes:

I have found that women of my mother’s generation, born in the 20s, are obsessed with sex and express it openly, much more than old men do. So I am not so sure privacy is such a big thing with those born in the 20s. Indeed, my mother told me as much years ago but not in those words. Even though they are old, the women still make all sorts of sexual allusions. My mother does not, at least around me, but the others do. I find it embarrassing. People would be surprised to know what goes on in assisted living and in nursing homes.

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