PAUL writes:

If you don’t like the status of your porcelain johns or other crusty deposits around the sink, consider CLR (calcium, lime, rust). It is amazing stuff that I rarely use but is a miracle cleaning agent. It is a highly effective acid but won’t burn you unless you leave it on your skin for minutes or more.

As a former analytical chemistry technician, I know what most strong acids or bases feel like on the skin: immediate pain. This stuff works like, for example, pure sulfuric acid but does not burn you quickly. Be careful where you use it, and don’t let it sit for hours on even a porcelain surface. They have removed the phosphoric acid; this now requires us to scrub and reapply repeatedly. Still, depending on the amount of buildup, it is like wiping water from a counter.

Why do I say this? I love chemicals and use them. Chemistry was my best subject. But mainly, I love to have pristine johns. I just spent a couple of hours last Sunday with my head in the toilets using CLR and a toothbrush to clean the little water spouts hidden under the toilet rims. Some people, like me, will notice the rear spouts if the spouts can be revealed from about ten feet. And the spouts accumulate God-knows-what no matter how often you clean your toilet. I also got rid of some crust in my kitchen sink; a place where one must use it very carefully on steel and even porcelain sinks, which we grind down with Brillo pads and might not stand up to the acid for long. Mine is almost forty years old.

An excellent alternative, which I used on my aunt’s toilet when she died, is Lysol Maximum, which is only about 10 percent hydrochloric acid, aka muriatic acid (HCL-stomach acid). I am not well-experienced with its home use. But it worked better than CLR on her toilet, which was difficult. I’ll stick with CLR in most cases because it is safer.

As an alternative to protect a really old sink or tub, use fine brass wool. It is 80 percent as effective but will not hurt the surface, and it is cheap; get it at hardware stores or boat shops. I used it on expensive yachts when I was a laborer during college. (A sink though might also require Comet, an additional mild abrasive; I don’t recall.)

— Comments —

Mary writes:

I like the toilet tips from Paul and will try them soon.

Around sinks etc. I use white vinegar to get rid of hard water deposits with great success. It is very inexpensive, not harmful to skin, and easy on the environment. Bring a cup of white vinegar to a boil with a tablespoon or two of cornstarch to make a gel. Cool and put in something like an old dishwashing detergent bottle for ease of application. Let the gel sit on the surface for 15 minutes or so and then scrub down the deposits. Test first in an inconspicuous area, of course! Vinegar could potentially pit some surfaces. I use it on corian, glass, tile, faucets etc. with no problem.

If the surface is flat I will gently scrape most of the deposits off with a single edged razor first. This worked great on my shower doors, which I assumed were pitted or corroded, but it turns out they just had hard water deposits covering them. I lightly scraped the surface with a single edged razor and then, believe it or not, polished them with a fine grit sanding block meant for use in between coats of paint when refinishing furniture (I use 3M’s 320 grit block from Lowe’s). A fine white powder came of the surface of the glass, which literally looked brand new afterwards.

The scrape and polish technique requires surprisingly little elbow grease and basically brought back to life two of my bathroom counters in addition to my shower doors. But again, always test first! Some surfaces that could be scratched easily might not be good for this technique. I use it on corian and glass.

Paul writes:

First, be very, very careful using any inorganic acid (muriatic-hydrochloric, sulfuric, phosphoric, etc.) on steel, chrome, and even stainless steel. It should be a last resort that is tested first and removed quickly.

Second, Mary’s vinegar (acetic acid) idea is something I completely forgot about insofar as the use Mary describes. It is a weak acid (pitiful in comparison to the inorganic acids above) that is actually the fundamental organic molecule inside all life. I forgot about its effectiveness and perfect safety on glass and was unaware of or forgot its potential harm on steel-based surfaces. (For Plexiglas, use only good old Dreft baby detergent or a newer special agent.)

Indeed, I was so disgusted with my glass door system (which I installed many years ago with great gusto) that I was waiting for the time to demolish them and use the newer mold-resistant shower curtains. I hated throwing out the precious stainless steel rod. The system has too many corners, crevices, and materials for a perfectionist with limited time. I never saw the system’s usefulness, having battled it since the 60s; I installed them for “resale.” I am close to selling, so I will try good old vinegar.

I am shocked and suspicious about the safety of the razor blade, which I have used on glass ad infinitum; I have scraped and glazed many exterior windows. A razor will etch glass easily. Now a gentle, experienced touch can do the job, as I have done; but most people should never use a razor on glass without great care especially on a beautiful expanse of glass. Mary must have a talented touch. My stupid doors are dimpled, opaque privacy doors (the privacy being the only rational feature of the system); but I just might attack them with a razor if the vinegar does not work fast enough. It will serve them right.

People should realize that plastic is safe on glass, steel, ceramic, etc. So they should consider a simple plastic knife (or toothbrush) or other plastic object to help remove mineral deposits and grease deposits. Fantastic is an aptly named degreaser. The ultimate degreaser is benzene, a perfectly shaped molecule; but it is a carcinogen. Odd considering it is part of a high percentage of life’s molecules.

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