KARL D. writes:

I would like to throw in my two cents from the male point of view regarding the promotion of childlessness. It is something of a confession that for reasons that will soon become obvious I try not to think about or discuss. When I was nineteen years old, I was with my then high school sweetheart who was eighteen. We were both madly in love with each other and had been together for three years. One day, I noticed she was quite somber. After repeated needling she finally confessed, she was pregnant. To make a long story short, we discussed all the pros and cons and quickly made the decision to get an abortion. This is something that has haunted me and filled me with guilt to this very day.

I am still single and childless and sometimes think this is God’s punishment for me. I only told my now elderly mother about this several years ago which I know hurt her terribly. She would love nothing more than to be a grandmother and to see me happily married as most parents do. I was recently in contact with my ex-girlfriend and she is now married and has two children, a four- year-old and a newborn. She managed to slip in just under the wire, as she is now 45 years old. When I looked at those two children it filled me with sadness at what could have been.

When I asked her what being a mother meant to her, she took a moment and said something to the effect of “They complete me.” I often wonder if she thinks about our child when looking into the eyes of her two beautiful children. We both selfishly chose abortion simply to buy ourselves time. Time to do whatever WE wanted to do. Much like the cover of Time magazine. I don’t know where I am going with this but I see so many women who in their later lives are trying everything under the sun to get pregnant when it is no longer naturally feasible and I wonder, how many of them have had abortions in their teens and twenties? If having children does indeed give one the feeling of being complete, of fulfilling a natural purpose in this life then promoting childlessness is the promotion of the unnatural and of missing something from the human experience as necessary as breathing.

— Comments —

Jane S. writes:

Like Karl D., I had an abortion in my wanton youth. I was in a relationship that I desperately wanted to break off. I chose abortion because I thought otherwise I would never get free of this man. When I later met the man I wanted to be the father of my children, I was not able to have a baby. Like Karl D., I recognize this as God’s punishment.

Secondary infertility does exist among women who have aborted. It seems that it happens with men, too. I think it happens more often than people realize. Healthcare experts are very reluctant to link abortion with any negative long-term consequences.

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