The Stigma of Celibacy, cont.
January 14, 2014
IN the entry about the social decline of celibacy, Lou Hanson writes:
Thanks for your piece about happy virgins. One of the odder things about being single today is that one is so often assumed to be ‘gay!’ I am 60, and would be far more tolerated and approved of if I were a homosexual woman, or in a sexual, unmarried state with a man! But being single is seen as so odd and unnatural. And, I have to say that the Catholic parish down the street from me does not feel very welcoming either — I love all the young families, happy couples, I do, but the older parish ten miles down the road feels better to me – still many young families, happy couples, but a nearly equal number of singles.
I took care of my parents for almost 20 years, and never really gave much thought to my own future – I never thought my mother would live to 95, and that I would be 58 when she died. In addition: parental caregiving is almost universally devalued, ironic in how much money I saved the government. Of course, now I am ‘on the dole,’ as how many jobs are available to one out of the work force for so long?
Although I work very hard in a nursing home kitchen/dining room, and nearly full time, this Catholic (!) nursing home pays so very little that I qualify for food stamps, heat assistance, and medical assistance. What a conundrum our country is in.
— Comments —
Mark Moncrieff writes:
Mr. Hanson:
If your health is good and you have a reasonable expectation that you can work until you are 70, it may be worth your while to obtain the qualifications to become a paid home care worker. Working in a job where you still need social assistance is a disgraceful situation to find yourself in. If you are able to find better work I would encourage you to do so. You have the practical skills; it would seem all you need is the formal qualification. Then you could do agency work or seek a live in position. Of course, you have better knowledge of your particular situation than I do. So it may not be an option; if it is please do look into it.
