AT the website Vice, Justin Levy interviews a friend who has survived on an all-pizza diet for 25 years. (Obscenity warning.) Here is Dan Janssen on what is now a perfectly normal way of life:

I’ve been eating pizza exclusively every day of my life for the past 25 years, and I’m not just talking about a slice of pizza every day. I usually eat an entire 14″ pizza, and I only eat cheese pizza. I never get sick of it. If I go to one pizza shop or another brand, it’s like eating a completely different meal.

I’m not sure why this interview is warranted. It is no surprise that someone eats nothing but pizza. What is a surprise is that some Americans — a few — don’t eat pizza at all. They should be interviewed and asked about their strange eating habits.

Dan says he is not terribly bothered by his diabetes, but his fiancée has urged him to see a therapist about his lack of interest in other foods:

I’ve been seeing a therapist about my food aversion, and we’ve been exploring why I have such a limited diet. I must say, even though I sound like a horribly unhealthy and fat person, I’m not. I’m thin. I have tons of energy, and I feel great every day, so there might be something to the exclusive pizza diet.

The Pizza Industrial Complex wouldn’t exist if there wasn’t something to the exclusive pizza diet. 

I hope Dan is seeking a pizza therapist and not just any therapist. Several major universities are offering masters degrees in Pizza Therapeutics, which is fully covered under Obamacare, and there are already psychologists doing a brisk business in this field.

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