THE Pizza-Industrial Complex has pulled a fast one on the residents of Bobtown, Pa. After a natural gas well exploded in the town, leaving one worker presumed dead and a fire that burned intensely for five days, what did Chevron give residents as an expression of concern and sympathy? Gift certificates for pizza at Bobtown Pizzeria.

This is ominous — especially for those of us in the sensitive field of Pizza Analysis and Forecasting (PAF).

I’m not sure where this will lead but I foresee pizza becoming a form of currency for corporate and government “outreach” offices. For instance, one day you might get a notice in the mail saying your property, which is is good condition, has been condemned. You have one month to pack your bags and move out. Inside the envelope will be $1,000 worth of coupons for Domino’s triple-stuffed, double-crust pies with bacon and green peppers (soda included).

I’m sorry to report that there are a few Americans, even some with decent homes, who would consider this a great deal.

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