Still Life, Giovanna Garzoni

A READER writes:

My name is Chasity and I’ve been an avid reader of your blog for years now. I am 27 years old and am a housewife and mother. My husband and I will celebrate eight years of marriage in a couple of weeks. We have one son, who will turn seven in June. He was born with a cleft lip and palate and will undergo further surgeries as he gets older. He was also diagnosed with OCD and Autism in the last couple of years.

I wanted to write and tell you thank you for writing this blog, as it has been a tremendous comfort to me over the years. I’ve always been told that I should have put our son in day care to help my husband support our family over the years. Some people have even asked me why I haven’t institutionalized him, since he’s so “high-maintenance.″

My husband and I have always agreed on my being at home, since before I was pregnant. He’s always told me that I am needed here and no material possessions would ever change his mind. I am very blessed to have such a wonderful, supportive husband. He has been my rock throughout our marriage.

This past 15 months, there has been a great change. My husband got a great job that requires him to travel for jobs most months out of the year. Early on, we found that none of us wanted to be separated: my husband was tired of hardly seeing us, our son started speaking less and had his very first meltdown, and I needed my husband. Just to see him at the end of every day helps me. So, we made a decision: the family stays together, no matter what. We now travel with him, wherever his job takes us. I started homeschooling our son, and became his speech therapist (getting help from a speech therapist by phone). A lot of people call us crazy, some say this is my excuse to continue to “do nothing with my life.” Others say we are doing harm to our child.

Here is what I know: our son began speaking more in the first two weeks we were with my husband than he had in his whole life. He is more at ease and receives information better. My husband is definitely happier now that he has his family with him. So am I. Most of the men my husband works with are on their third or fourth wife. They also tell my husband how lucky he is that his family is with him. Yet everyone outside of work says we are crazy and ruining our son. Our son has his mother at home with him every day and gets to see his father every night. We believe that the most stability we could give him was to keep our marriage strong and that requires seeing each other more than a few times a year. Our son needs his father as well and needed to see him more than a couple of times a year.

Your blog has been a godsend to me throughout the years, so thank you very much for taking the time. Please keep up the wonderful work!

Laura writes:

Thank you for your kind appreciation. That is a lovely and encouraging story.

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