Divorce Nation
May 26, 2014
CAROLYN G. writes:
For years, I have ached as I see a trend in fathers neglecting to be fathers and parents giving up on a marriage on a whim, thinking only of themselves. I see children floundering. Our family unit is falling apart because adults refuse to grow up. Then previously joyful holidays and special events become uncomfortable events and “blended” families have trouble blending. The following story illustrates the latest one in our family:
Ten-year-old Tommy cried after his mom had asked him, “What do you want for Christmas?”
“I want my daddy to come home.” Daddy moved — not too far away, but the family unit was destroyed.
Now 14 years old, Tommy cried again. Dad found a girlfriend on the Internet and moved 3,000 miles away. They are quickly married — a whole new family for the kids to digest. Dad seems to never have time or money to visit. If the kids don’t fly to see him, there is no contact.
A few years later, Tommy’s sister, now 15 years old, is crying. Dad is coming to Tommy’s graduation. Dad has not seen Tommy in over a year. Repeated pleas from grandparents, Tommy’s mom and others are ignored: Tommy is dying inside. He needs his dad to visit, to spend time alone with him. So, hurt and angry, he refuses to see his father at graduation. His sister, the peacemaker, cast in a role she shouldn’t have inherited, is trying to create some semblance of family. Trying to get them both with their Dad for awhile.
Dad said: “Tommy gave up on me. ” The child gave up on the dad!! What is wrong with this picture?
The man-boy searches for a role model. His sister yearns for a father’s bedtime kiss.
He is smart and disciplined, exercises his muscular body and reads constantly. Becomes a good swimmer. Awards come for college. But his best friend is a video game. His dad, whom he thought was his best friend, traded him for an Internet wife because he was “unhappy.”
Sarah keeps very busy…developing her dance talents, maintaining a straight A average. No father to help take her to school and recitals. No dad to laugh with. She is loved by everyone, but with an empty spot inside her soul.
They have a great mom, stressed, as she tries to keep a home for them.
Years ago, I heard Dr. Laura Schlessinger counsel a father on the radio. His ex-wife was moving away and taking the children. He asked what he should do. Her reply: you move where they are.
What? I was aghast. The mom was moving. Why should he move? The answer of course, as I grow older, is clear. What is important: pride or the children? The children, always. One bad act by the parent doesn’t make it okay for the kids to lose the other parent.
Our prisons are full of confused young men. Where are the models? Even men at churches are not stepping in to help. Moms can’t be dads. No matter how hard they try.
The tear-stained pillows of lonely children will fall heavy on the head of these “dads” when they meet their maker.
Laura writes:
These stories are heartbreaking and very common.
The institution of divorce creates almost irresistible temptations to adults. There will always be broken families, but legal divorce creates them. It generates family breakdown. Consider that it’s not legal to drive above the speed limit but it is legal to sever the voluntary vow that is the basis of family unity and social cohesion. Divorce represents the triumph of freedom as an end in itself. It is the precursor of same-sex “marriage.” Many of those organizations campaigning against same-sex “marriage,” I want to ask: “Why have you been silent about the legalization of divorce? Wake up. The premises are basically the same.”
— Comments —
Mark B. writes:
Martian Prophecies
1
Fathers have left their homes and made widows
of wives, orphans of their children saying –
“pleasure is my first desire. I will go
and seek it. I owe nothing to others.”
And ruin follows on their heels, while none
console the widows and orphans but say –
“here is the field of poverty. Labor
from dawn to dusk and glean bad dreams at night.”
This angers the Lord. He sends destruction to
the land. No one but the upright have rest.
The tornado and the hurricane
appears and breaks the roofs of idiot peace;
rivers rise and flood the plains of false calm;
earthquakes shatter towns and no one says –
“I will turn back to God and do his will.”
They pay no tithes to God but swell the merchant’s vaults
and say – “insure us that we may be safe from wrath.”
They call misfortune – luck; and boon – their just
reward, but place no hope or trust in God.
The upright are few. The Lord protects them.
Though they suffer, glory consoles them.
Who will console the wicked? Who gives rest
to those whose evil stains the land with blood;
who worship Self and sacrifice the children
God has made? Where have the fathers gone,
those who were to lead their families
in love and truth? They left their fields to chase
a whore, seduced by vanity.
The Lord says –
” I hate divorce.”
But who has listened?
“I made you fertile that you may be blessed.
I crowned you with my crown of life, but who
respects my will, esteems my friendship,
honors gifts that bless your being? Who
is faithful to my teaching? Who knows why
they live and how I bless the humble?
Did I not leave my word among you? Did I,
your God, not raise the dead and send
my spirit into men? Was I not perfect
with love? Has Man no need to be saved?
Why do men cry out for mercy while they sin
and ask for power to continue sinning?
Why do neighbors scorn each other, begrudge
communion, and reason not together?”
“The fire has come and is coming. Do I
cease to warn and punish? Do I
fail to call you to repentance? Is my Son
not among you to this day, healing distress?
And still you will not look and listen.
Still you scurry into darkness like the cockroach
when light appears exposing error.”
“I have struck at the unchaste and foul –
they refuse to be warned. I have struck
the divorced, even their children, but they don’t
repent. I have struck your leaders blind,
and no one sees they have no vision.
I have struck the drunkard and the lotus-eater,
and they look up in a stupor for a hiding place.
I have struck the proud, the vain, the giddy –
all their fruit is barren yet they do not reel.
I have yoked the laborer to a grindstone
where he’s muzzled at the mill – and still
he does not ask for holy days – but mindless and numb,
he trudges on asleep and wants no Sabbath.”
“I have struck the vain with sickness
but no physician teaches prayer and faith.
I have struck mighty Jupiter with comets
yet astronomers don’t tremble at my name.”
“Teachers teach that I am nice. My angels cut
their throats. Teachers teach that I am many.
Demons eat their hearts. My mercy is
a flaming sword. I terrify the penitent
that they may die to sin and know reward.”
“I have struck the merchants. They give false measure.
I have struck the judges. They side with evil.
I have struck the poor. They seek revenge.
I have struck the rich. They love only wealth.
I have struck the householder. They know only debt.
Yet everyday I offer peace and mercy to all.
Everyday I offer bread of life and wine of joy.
Everyday I offer reconciliation.
Everyday I offer healing of the sick
and blessings to the married; living water
to infants and the unclean. My servants labor
ceaselessly for all who cry for peace.
I have forsaken none. Not even the worst
among you is refused my saving grace.”
“I hate divorce and infidelity.
Change your ways, your laws, your acts, and be redeemed.
My love is boundless and my gifts are great.
Eternity is measureless and rich
for those who do my will; worse than death
for those who won’t. People – learn holy fear!”
