PAULA writes:


A link to this video was sent to me from a Catholic friend who is aware of how my family has been broken apart by its members taking sides on the homosexual issue. I thought it was compelling to view and showed compassion to those struggling with same-sex attraction. It is amazing to think that there are homosexuals saying that they are living a happy, fulfilling celibate life through the saving grace of Jesus. Amen!

I am just not sure how I can apply the advice in the video to assist our family. The gist of the message is to love them. Okay. However, I receive nothing but hate from the homosexual and the family members that have taken up the cause in support. At family gatherings I am ignored or have to endure “re- education” about the rights of homosexuals to marry and how God accepts their love. I have never lectured anyone, ever, but when asked, I have always said sex outside of the bonds of one man/one woman marriage is a sin. I teach my children that it is a sin and bear a lot of criticism for that.

I’m so sick of the whole subject but it is forced upon me everywhere I go. In the old days practicing homosexuals knew they were committing sin just as heterosexuals knew sex outside of marriage was a sin. Now that is just not so.

I value your opinion on this topic.

Laura writes:

Imagine a group of people cheering on an alcoholic and encouraging him to drink. That would be similar to your family’s approach to homosexuality. They obviously are blinded by political propaganda, but the root of the problem is their lack of charity — toward God foremost, but also toward you and the homosexual, who now is at the mercy of his passions. I can only suggest that you create a greater distance between you and them, avoid conversation on the subject, pray for them and for yourself, and seek connections with the like-minded.

I have not had the chance to watch yet the whole video you sent, but it seemed to exaggerate at the beginning the hatefulness directed toward homosexuals in recent years. In any event, for society as a whole, there is no “third way.” Homosexuality is either approved publicly or not. The Christian society, unlike our pagan world, disapproves of it out of a spirit of true charity, offering help and compassionate understanding to individuals afflicted with desires for same sex relationships — which is a true affliction — in the same way alcoholics are often helped. As explained in the video, they need supernatural help, not just mental health counseling, because homosexuality, like alcoholism, is a form of demonic possession. It truly takes a hold of a person and suffocates him.

I hope you will accept whatever ostracism that comes your way without complaint or self-pity. Here is a relevant essay by Thomas Droleskey. He writes:

As Father Edward Leen noted in his In The Likeness of Christ, to complain about anything that happens to us, any humiliation that we might suffer at the hands of others, whether advertently or inadvertently, is [to] rebel against the will of God:

In other words, it is the law of things as they actually are that we must continually suffer from others; it is the condition of our being that we shall be the victims of others’ abuse of their free wills; it belongs to our position that our desires and inclinations should be continually thwarted and that we should be at the mercy of circumstances. And it is our duty to bear that without resentment and without rebellion. To rebel is to assert practically that such things are not our due, that they do not belong to our position. It is to refuse to recognize that we are fallen members of a fallen race. The moment we feel resentment at anything painful that happens to us through the activity of men or things, at that moment we are resentful against God’s Providence.

We are in this really protesting against His eternal determination to create free beings; for these sufferings which we endure are a consequence of the carrying into effect of that free determination. If we expect or look for a mode of existence in which we shall not endure harshness, unkindness, misunderstanding, and injustice, we are actually rebelling against God’s Providence, we are claiming a position that does not belong to us as creatures. This is to sin against humility. It is pride. (Father Edward Leen, In The Likeness of Christ, Sheed and Ward, 1936, pp, 182-183.)

— Comments —

Dan R. writes:

I watched the entire video.  While much of the personal testimony was moving, at various points there is, as you note, an overly apologetic tone taken toward the homosexual community, which you described as “exaggerat[ing] the hatefulness directed toward homosexuals in recent years.”  Unlike fundamentalist organizations offering help with same-sex attraction, the video makes no claim of an ability to heal sexual brokenness and restore men and women to their natural relationship with the opposite sex.  What they are promoting is chastity and a love of God, which strikes me as possibly being, for a sexually active homosexual, at a comparable degree of difficulty as striving for a marital relationship with one of their opposite number.  Perhaps there’s an assumption that a heterosexual relationship is more likely to develop in a state of chastity.  An additional disappointment, however, is an acceptance at various points that homosexuals are, in the words of Lady Gaga, “born this way.”  This despite the fact that the testimonials in the film indicate many instances of abuse and generally dysfunctional family relations.  Whatever the case, there is still much good in the film.

There is a radio interview linked from the link you posted, featuring interviews with the director of the film and, afterward, Robert R. Reilly, author of Making Gay Okay, published by Ignatius Press.

The Reilly interview is the more satisfying of the two, as he offers no more in the way of apologies than any decent person would to a homosexual who’s experienced abuse by his peers.  He makes strong points, among others, on homosexuality throughout history, particularly in ancient times; the situation in today’s military; and, some words on the political character of the elimination of homosexuality in 1973 from the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) of the American Psychiatric Association.

The film-maker, John-Andrew O’Rourke, explains the “third way” as the middle ground between libertines who proclaim “gay” to be okay and the “extreme right” who warn homosexuals they’re going to hell.  Pretty good straw man, eh?  You are far more to the point when you state there is no “third way” between public acceptance or rejection of homosexuality.  On a personal note, I have been called “homophobic” at times, but in my heart attest there is little or no antipathy toward those afflicted with this disorder.  Of course, merely saying such words is enough to throw most “gays” into a rage.

Finally, I cringed each time during both the movie and radio interviews at the casual use of the term “gay” by the various participants, implicitly sending a message of acceptance of this as a legitimate term.  You had some very strong words on this a couple of months ago, and just last month Msgr. Charles Pope of the Archdiocese of Washington wrote, in an essay on euphemism:

“Frankly, the physical reality is rather an unpleasant thing for the average person to consider. Uncloaked from euphemisms and abstractions like “gay,” and “two people loving each other,” the physical description of the act discloses to the average person how abnormal the action is, and that the organs involved are not intended for the purposes for which they are being used.”

Finally, the subtitle of Mr. Reilly’s book sums up the gravity of the situation: How Rationalizing Homosexual Behavior is Changing Everything.  –

Laura writes:

Thank you for your insightful analysis and comments.

The search for a “third way” is the defining impulse of neoconservatism. Unfortunately, in this case, it involves acknowledging the victimhood of homosexuals, a major rationale for homosexual liberation, which is also seen as reparation for past persecution.

Laura adds:

There is an interesting letter today at the website Tradition in Action by a man who speaks of his thwarted desire to have sexual attraction to women and his bitter disappointment in not having a family at the age of 42. What’s striking about it is that the man gave up possible marriages with six women whom he liked and admired because he did not find them sexually attractive enough (even though he apparently consummated at least one of the relationships). It’s as if a less-than-ideal sexual life is the worst possible condition a human being can experience. What he is really talking about, in essence, is an aversion to women and he believes there is absolutely nothing he can do to overcome this aversion. Homosexuality involves rejection of the opposite sex. And yet this man feels he is somehow entitled to family life even though he rejects women. He is angry and resentful at the whole order of creation. He is angry that women even exist.

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