A Grocery Store Encounter
September 5, 2014
GRATEFUL READER writes:
I just went to the grocery store and met a woman whom I have not seen in many years. She said that her daughter had had a baby some time ago. When I remarked that I had not known this and that, in fact, I did not know that she had gotten married, she said, “Oh, no, she’s not married. She had IVF, sperm bank, you know. She is a single mother by choice.” Alas. The daughter was a pretty, intelligent woman who attended an Ivy League college and is now nearly forty. I made polite conversation with the mother, but I don’t know what to say, or how to act toward her. Perhaps I should have looked at her in horror, dropped the package of meat in the crowded aisle, and said, “That is terrible! How could she do such a thing?” But I doubt it would help her to understand the truth of the situation.
IVF acceptance started much like the acceptance of contraception at the 1930 Lambeth Conference, it was only to be used within marriage. I know it gets worse, such as when two men use donors and rent a womb, and of course OctoMom, but I hope I don’t have to meet any of them and try to figure out how to care for them. I don’t know what to say, or how to act. These children are God’s children, although their parents have rejected Him. What you do is very, very important, in trying to prevent such things from happening. But, how do we deal with those who have done this? How do we persuade them that what they have done is evil and what can we encourage them to do now?
Laura writes:
Thank you for your trust in my judgment.
“Single mother by choice.” What a lie.
Perhaps if you had simply said, “I’m sorry to hear that,” that would have been enough. But you probably did register your reaction in your face. It’s not your place to do more. This woman and her daughter will learn soon enough what it means to treat a human being like a commodity. It is just about the worst form of child abuse that has ever existed.
