THE feminist work ethic and the willful destruction of the one-income family often leaves little time for women to cultivate their marriages. They should always put their relationships with their husbands above those with their children, but that is too often not the case.

— Comments —

Buck writes:

I’ve fallen in love with Amber Doty, the writer of this piece. I couldn’t be more jealous of her husband, the father of her children. It’s as if she is missing her own beautiful point as she so succently makes it. She is not putting her husband first, by “putting her husband first.” She is putting her children first. When she finally explains herself, she spends her words talking about her children. She’s utterly charming, the way she feebly tries to relegate her children to some kind of diminshed status, as she so clearly raises them to her ultimate purpose. I love her. I don’t know what else to say.

She writes:

Don’t get me wrong; I love my kids and would do anything for them.

And I get it. There’s no question that the bond between a mother and child is unbreakable. But I view my investment in my relationship with my spouse as one that is beneficial to our family as a whole. Prioritizing my husband’s needs decreases our chances of getting divorced; it also increases the probability that our children will remain in a two-parent home.

I strongly believe that modeling a healthy relationship for our children sets the foundation for how they form bonds when they get older. In my opinion, my husband and I are the first example of what being in a happy marriage is like. Our kids learn how they should treat their future significant others (and what they should expect in return) by watching us.

It is so blatantly obvious that what she is doing, or whatever she thinks she is doing, that she and the father of her children are doing what may be, to me anyway, the single most important thing that parents can do for their children; modeling how a man and a woman, a mother and a father, should be seen in the eyes of their children.

She may not know what she is saying, but from my perspective, she has said it perfectly.

Nothing, short of my sought relationship with God, could have meant more to me, in every facet of my life, than just a small slice of that coming from my parents. I don’t remember reading anything, for a long time, that has struck me so personally, and I don’t know if the charming Amber Doty realizes what she said. Yet, I have just been moved to tears.

Laura write:

I don’t see her as being hypocritical. She seems to mean that in daily life, she doesn’t neglect her husband or make him second to their children.

There are limits to putting one’s marriage first. But creating a loving marriage is more important than so many things people do for their children today.

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