CYRUS N. writes:

Laura writes:

Thank you for writing and for your appreciation.

I was thinking after I read your e-mail, just sort of mulling over really, what you might be like ten or fifteen years from now. I hope you will look back on this time as a sort of infancy in your life. I hope that in the place of this vice so callously applauded by the world, a vice which has enslaved you and caused despair, there will be the love of the Trinitarian God. If you say “yes,” your soul will be drawn into that ever-flowing stream of mercy and divine love.

I know you asked for my opinion on the promotional film, but I wanted humbly to suggest four things. First, that you adopt a truly child-like attitude. “And Jesus calling unto him a little child, set him in the midst of them,/And said: Amen I say to you, unless you be converted, and become as little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.” [Matthew 18;2-3]

Secondly, that while seeking help from others in the form of therapy or meetings with those who have also been in the grip of the occult homosexual “community” and want to live in chastity, you embrace solitude. Thirdly, that you practice mortification to strengthen your will and make reparation for your sins. Finally, and most importantly, that you seek out the Catholic Mass in its ancient form. If you cannot find the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, you can purchase a St. Andrew’s missal, published in 1945, and pray along with it in your own little private, self-made chapel.

The Holy Eucharist is the greatest therapy in existence, but if you cannot have it you can at least revere it indirectly. One of the signs of a lack of orthodoxy in that film you linked to was that it never mentioned the Eucharist and its sanctifying graces. Unfortunately, the new liturgy, or anti-liturgy, is barren, as we see from its devastating effects all around the world.

The Traditional Mass affirms masculinity and femininity on both a supernatural and natural level. It will help you find and recover your manhood. I am certain of that. I cannot fully explain why this is so because it is somewhat mystical and ineffable. Also, in true Catholic worship there is a sharp distinction between men and women in practice. In that sense, entering the Church is stepping into reality. Human beings only advance in holiness through their nature as male or female. There is no such thing as an androgynous saint.

One person interviewed in the film, which included some moving testimonials but also falsely suggested that the Church was guilty of bigotry toward homosexuals in the past, said people only sin in actions, not thoughts. This is not true. We can sin in thought. Obviously we do not sin by involuntary thoughts, but there are ways we can bring our involuntary thoughts under control. The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola include exercises in this vein. Although I think you should try its meetings, I should caution you that Courage uses the non-Catholic, 12-step Alcoholics Anonymous program when the Church has such a venerable tradition of methods for combatting sin. See The Sinners’ Guide, for instance, by Venerable Louis of Granada, in which he discusses lusts that “begin in pleasure but end in the abyss of bitterness and remorse” and offers ways of combatting them. There are inexhaustible treasures on this theme, from the writings of St. Augustine, who committed many sexual sins himself, to St. Theresa of Avila’s mansion of the soul. If you are bored as a Catholic, there is something wrong.

I will end with some quotes that I came across recently in Mancipia, a publication of the St. Benedict Center, in an article by Brother André Marie. He quoted a book by a Carthusian monk, Father David Phillipson, titled The Prayer of Love and Silence. When I read them, I thought of you.

“If we could keep our heart still, the devil would be baffled, and temptations would find nothing in us to take hold of.” (p. 89)

“When Our Lord asks us to empty our hearts, it is because he wants to fill them with his own love. And it is only when he does fill our hearts that the work of our purification has achieved its object.” (p. 43)

“The first phase in our spiritual life is to empty ourselves of ourselves by a ceaseless and merciless war against every form of self-love. For sin, in sundering the bond between Creator and creature, has destroyed the interior harmonies of the latter. Our life, separated from its Source, is utterly disoriented and disturbed. We are in revolt against God and hence our senses are in revolt against reason.” (p. 125)

I wish you well in your brave rejection of the world and your old life. It won’t be easy, but it’s not meant to be.

— Comments —

Sibyl writes:

I would like to speak to Cyrus and anyone who may be in a similar place — seeing the truth and hope of Catholic faith but living in a way that is far from it.

Cyrus, please know that God’s mercy is completely free, and that you already have it. Its operation is what gives you the desire to get closer to Him, to seek His grace in all its fullness in the Church. It is true that a life of sexual sin forms a person in vice, and that humanly speaking vice is very difficult to get out of. However, Jesus Christ can heal you, if he chooses and if you cooperate. You are not too far gone to be helped and you are not the worst person who ever lived. He loves you and seeks your salvation with longing.

I agree with Laura that you should try the Courage meetings. You will need solid, holy, chaste friendship along the way. And when you are able, take instruction in the faith. Reading is good, but you will need guidance too.

You have my fervent prayers, friend. You are known, loved, and eternally desired by the heart of God.

Paul C. writes:

There is plenty of Catholic help for homosexuals wanting to end their lifestyle.  Catholic.com is an endless source of resources for all sorts of problems.  Specifically, here is one for homosexuals; it is a 1,000 member strong association of professional psychologists.  The Web page has other references at the bottom.  Our brother can use the search function to find out more.  He can listen to Catholic radio and EWTN.  Catholic Radio channels often talk about help for homosexuals.  There are support groups and phone numbers.  If his radio can’t pick up a station, he can go to www.ewtn.com/radio/ and find one online, which I use because I am surrounded by concrete and steel interference.

Certainly most Catholics feel much empathy towards homosexuals.  We not only criticize practicing homosexuality but also heterosexual adultery, contraception, pornography addiction, child abuse, and abortion.  So homosexuals should not feel singled out.  People know the shame that such outed individuals suffer.  Shame of adultery has declined because of contraception and abortion.  Homosexuality acceptance logically follows from the decline of such shame.  Catholic radio and TV addresses all these problems.

Laura writes:

There is one bright side to the effort to normalize homosexual relations — which is basically a form of political exploitation of the weak and could never have flourished without the help of very powerful and wealthy enemies of Christian civilization — and that is, that more people who have overcome this vice have come forward.

Alex writes:

I would share three ideas from today’s meditation:

1. God is with you at all times.

2. He is waiting for you to commit to finding him.  Don’t struggle with this, just ask for his presence.

3. Make your relationship with him good and your relationship with the world will follow suit.

Laura writes:

The satanic political agenda to normalize homosexuality, which is part of a larger program to destroy  all vestiges of Christian social order, has led to an unhealthy obsession with the sin of homosexuality to the exclusion of other sins (among Christians; others don’t consider it a sin) in our society. This is not good for those who struggle with this vice and sincerely want to overcome it. It must make them sometimes feel as if the weight of all the world’s evil is on their shoulders.

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