Retail Robots
October 22, 2015
AS more supermarket jobs become mechanized (which should be a good thing in the long run as human beings can be freed up to do better things), the people who work for the large supermarket chains foreshadow the change. More and more of them appear to have been trained to act like machines. Social interaction in the store is a scripted experience. A friend wrote to me yesterday:
Shopping has become less human. The insidious music and the robotic employees—in the sense that they have a script: “Did you find everything you need?” [“No. Let me hold up the line so I can fetch the things I forgot.”]
My new favorite is the way they are now trained to answer the phone at Joann Fabric: “Joann Fabrics and Crafts. How may I inspire you?” Nauseating. Whatever happened to the small talk one occasionally participated in at the register, or bantering with shop employees?
While I’m on the subject, the most awful thing (to me) is the way businesses don’t have “customers” anymore, rather “guests.” There was nothing wrong with being a customer, as in bringing one’s custom to a shop. It was a dignified human relationship, that of customer and shopkeeper.
I loathe the way consultants/advisers, whomever, tamper with our beautiful language. It is a form of warfare.
— Comments —
CH writes:
Your friend said: “While I’m on the subject, the most awful thing (to me) is the way businesses don’t have “customers” anymore, rather “guests.”
Indeed. It is a struggle to be genial and polite at times when faced with the passive-aggressive positivism that we find more and more everywhere. I’m not your pal, nor am I your guest. I walked into the store with money intent on a financial transaction. A little friendly banter is welcome, but this soulless language and attitude used to greet us as customers is sickening.
And I’ve also noticed that the young women (and gay men, just so we’ve got that “fairness” clause covered here) working these places turn the word “you” into a two-syllable phrase (EWE-WUH) and change the ‘a’ in ‘thank’ to an ‘i’, rendering it, “THINK Ewe-eeeee-WUH” Sometimes it’s all I can do to not roll my eyes at them. Should one do that, however, one will find just how thin the veneer of niceness really is with these employees.
Recently in a large pet store, I was in something of a hurry and the young woman followed the above script to the letter, and then proceeded to ask me if I had photos of my pets, what were their names, could she see them (all with the customary robotic grin). I just smiled and said, “I’m terribly sorry, but I have to get back to work.”
“Oh. Sorry. I don’t mean to keep you here.” Amazing how these folks have managed to turn ‘Sorry’ into, well, an expletive beginning with ‘F’ and ending with ‘u.’
Laura writes:
The clerks in clothing stores have been trained to compliment a customer’s purchases at the register — “Oh, I just love this blouse!” — as if the customer has no confidence in her judgment and must be flattered. It’s canned dialogue. None of it sincere. It goes perfectly with the loud, orgasmic canned music which you can never escape, even in a dressing room or rest room.
The corporate geniuses who teach their employees this stuff think we are idiots desperate for love and approval who cannot shop unless we are pandered to and given an earful of constant sexual yearnings from the loud speakers.
It makes me miss my poultry man. There was not a speck of phoniness in him.
Bruce writes:
This doesn’t excuse their language and behavior, but shop clerks have a lousy job.
My first check paying job was as a clerk in a shop where my (future) wife also worked. When you have to interact with dozens or even hundreds of customers per day, someone inevitably curses you out for something that is petty and out of your control. This happens just about every day. Sometimes you have to endure people throwing things at you like my wife did. An old man physically chased and cornered her because she “allowed” him to purchase the wrong type of antacid. If you’re a young woman, you will, most every day, be hit on by gross, fat, often drunk older men.
One pet peeve I have is other customers who go through an entire transaction while on the cell phone without any acknowledgement of the clerk’s existence. Very rude and inhuman.
I agree with your observations and those of your readers. I just want to add that the entire modern retail experience is degrading to everyone involved.
Paul A. writes:
Someone else has picked up on this, I think: “Welcome to Cosco, I luv you.”
There was also an old Bloom County cartoon of a store clerk commenting on every (embarrassing) item Opus was buying. I really don’t want clerks paying too much attention to me.
Jane R. writes:
Thank you for this conversation. I feel the same way and can really appreciate what has been said.I recently called my cable provider to let them know my cable TV had been out for five or six days. Obviously, by the fact that it took me that long to figure out the cable was out and to make the call, I’m not TV dependent but the customer service representative spoke to me with such canned verbiage, all meant to deal with the situation, me without TV, as almost tragic. I’m so glad I don’t have to control my facial expressions while on the phone.
