From the Bible Belt
June 1, 2016
THE BABYLON BEE reports important developments in the Bible Belt. Here’s the latest:
According to reports coming out of Grace Fellowship, church intern Greg Barona completed the eighth perfect tech performance in Evangelical history Sunday at the church’s 10:30 a.m. service.
Barona looked totally in control from the very first song all the way until the benediction, according to multiple sources. The congregation reportedly held their breath as the pastor gave the verbal cues for media like illustrative pictures, movie clips, and seemingly endless sermon points, but Barona held it together, retiring all slides with no delays, errors, or false starts. The second the 28-year-old Barona fired off the final slide, the audience erupted in emotional, wild cheering, knowing they had witnessed history. After the teaching pastor dumped a vat of old coffee over his head, the congregants swept him up on their shoulders and carried him outside, where the unrestrained celebration continued.
“It looked dicey there for a minute when the worship leader called an audible and went right into the chorus of ‘Good Good Father,’ but Greg pulled through. A real clutch player,” head tech Paul Stark told reporters during the post-service bash, shouting over the cheers from the congregation. “Guys like Greg make it look easy.”
