RACHEL C. writes from Anchorage, Alaska:

I want you to know how enriching your website is to me. I have been a reader for a few years. It brings me comfort that I and my family are not the only ones who, in thinking things through, can consider the devastating outcomes of the moral and social insanity happening in this day and age. We are on a downward spiral, but I trust that where there are tares, there is also wheat, like you. -:)

In response to The Unisex Gnome, you are right on! I have noticed the majority of older people that I can’t tell “what” they are, but in the rare occasion that I notice a feminine older lady, my heart smiles so big! I feel a connection with a woman who has gone before me, I feel inspired and hopeful. I often remind our daughters (11, 9, and 7) that when I am old “no matter what put my lipstick on.” They know what that means… that I still want to look like a woman! (We also have two sons, 17 and 14, but I don’t want them anywhere near me with lipstick, lol!)

Five years ago, I was at Costco with my husband, wearing a plaid dress (Christmas colors). I have always preferred skirts and dresses, even when I was growing up. Never trying to make a statement or anything, just enjoy them. -:) Anyways I was in the frozen foods section, when this middle-aged man from across the way parked his grocery cart, turned around to face me, approached me, and said, quite loudly, but friendly-like, “YOU are wearing a DRESS!” I was shocked, but I love a surprise, so I was softly laughing. He said “WOW! You are so refreshing! You made my whole holidays!” I’ve come to the summation that we dress, not for ourselves, but for society. It is a service to be clearly a woman, so as not to confuse anyone, and hopefully to brighten someone’s day.

I thank God that He created me a woman and, despite my 80’s and early 90’s upbringing in the Bay Area of California, I am not ashamed or embarrassed to be a woman. I don’t reject it on any level. I consider it a privilege and Christian responsibility.

Laura writes:

Thank you for your kindness and appreciation.

You really hit the nail on the head when you wrote:

I’ve come to the summation that we dress, not for ourselves, but for society.

That’s it.

Not only do we dress for society, we live for society. Even if we were hermits, even if we lived in a cave in the desert, we would live for society. God made us social creatures and nothing we can do can change that. Most of what we do is in some way reinforcing or detracting from certain cultural ideals. When doing things that make us unhappy, our personal unhappiness does not detract from the happiness cultural ideals we are reinforcing may bring to others.

Again, an older woman who has no modesty and no sense of her age, or the dignity of it, is depressing. I am not, of course, talking about those who are sickly and who unable to maintain or even think about their appearance. I was in a doctor’s office the other day and there was a woman who was probably in her mid-70s in the waiting room. She was a very pretty woman. She was about as pretty as a woman can be at that age. She had a lovely face and beautiful make-up and a feminine scarf and dress. She was not sick, obviously, but in the peak of health. However, she was wearing a dress that ended above her knees, in keeping with fashion. So when she was sitting — well, her legs were very visible. They were, to put it politely, very unbecoming. I have seen short, short skirts on other old women too. Yuck! Sorry, but age does not enhance the appearance of the average woman’s legs. This woman apparently had no modesty, even the modesty that a much younger woman should have. She had no sense that, as you say, “we dress not for ourselves, but for society” and no sense of the inherent dignity of her age.  You can be any age and still exhibit beauty or an appreciation for beauty. A person who tries to look much younger than they are usually ends up looking ridiculous. You can’t blame them, since we live in a culture that worships youth, but it’s still sad.

This tendency for women to look awful also stems from their being constantly told that the most important thing is what they are doing, doing, doing, not what they are.

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