KRISTA BURTON writes in The New York Slimes:

Lesbians were working on communal organic farms and freaking out about pesticides decades before the rest of the country. Who do you think made food co-ops cool?

Lesbians did, my child.

We lesbians have been making our own pickles and brewing gross health teas forever. We’ve had a community-supported agriculture farm share since your grandmother was feeling feelings while “practicing kissing” with her best friend (before getting engaged to your grandpa).

Now quick — describe society’s idea of a “typical hipster” for me.

Did plaid flannel come to mind? Work boots? Weirdly cut or especially shaggy hair? Maybe a bike?

How odd. You just described the cartoon stereotype of a lesbian.

Yeah, right. As if lesbians are all natural.

Gimme a break. Lesbians may be super kind and nature-loving to chickens, allowing them their free ranges, but for human children, they’re perfectly okay with artificial insemination, surrogacy (in which a woman is used as a baby machine), and raising children without their natural fathers — not free range, but in psychological coops. They also approve of chopping off women’s breasts and synthetic hormones that give women beards.

Lesbianism is as natural as GMOs and chemical-laced carrots. But much, much worse. It’s inorganic for humans, not vegetables.

Oh, and one other thing. She forgot to mention the lesbian role in popularizing the drunken dyke who slams her girlfriend against the wall. How hip!

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