THOMAS F. BERTONNEAU writes:

Speaking of pizza rolls, here is Stan Freberg’s brilliant 1970s ad for Jeno’s Pizza Rolls.

In case the pizza rolls give you digestive problems, here is Stan Freberg’s brilliant 1970s ad for Sunsweet Pitted Prunes.

Apropos of absolutely nothing, I have a simple recipe for what I call un-pizza.  Slice two very firm Roma tomatoes as close to paper-thin as you can get.  Arrange the slices on a plate.  Salt and pepper them to taste.  Then add shavings of Pecorino Romano.  Dribble the best olive oil that you can find over the tomato slices with cheese and then shake malt vinegar to taste.  Let the result sit for five minutes in the refrigerator and then – enjoy!

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Dr. Bertonneau adds:

In respect of the late Mr. Freberg’s pizza-roll advertisement, careful viewing reveals that the Lone Ranger disdains the offer of the dainty morsels while Tonto stocks up on them.  Where does wisdom sit?  (I have abiding admiration for Jay Silverheels, who played Tonto.)

What Mr. Freberg’s pitted-prune advertisement tells us (and we are shocked, shocked at the revelation) is that one can’t trust advertising, no more than we can trust “reporting.”

I forgot to add one step in the un-pizza recipe.  Once the Roma tomatoes are sliced, they should sit for a minute or two on a paper towel, to draw out the excess moisture.  This prepares them to absorb the olive oil and the vinegar and to combine their flavor with that of the Pecorino Romano shavings.  Consume the result with some crusty French bread.

Paul writes:

Interesting recipe by the Professor.  I don’t dare bring a loaf of French bread home because I would eat the whole thing with coffee and Benecol or Smart Balance.  I have lost 15 lbs. in the last few months.

Laura writes:

Good for you.

Hurricane Betsy writes:

While I appreciate Thomas’s recipe (and I’ll be sure to try it in August when, I hope, the tomatoes have ripened on the vine), there are much tastier paste varieties than Roma. People keep harking back to the Roma because it is a variety easiest for commercial growers and they think that’s all there is.

For those who grow their own, there are others that are far tastier and at least as dense. My fave is “Cow’s T*t”, a mutant I was lucky to obtain seeds for. It is a magnificent, sausage-type of fruit as per the name. In a good year, the fruit are large, yet tasty. And there are other, older paste types, such as Opalka, which will not disappoint you. Actually, there are quite a few paste types superior to Roma, if you grow your own from seed.

Mind you, if the point is a dense tomato, no need to even stick with paste types. Oxheart types are also dense and awfully flavorful.

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