CAROLYN F. writes:

I was surprised by your answer to H.F. (possibly because of this post). To me this is a no-brainer. She should stop studying to be a doctor. Even though she says it was her decision to study medicine, and not the decision of her parents, their expectations of her to “earn a professional degree” likely have played a role in the career path she’s chosen. Also, who knows the degree to which our feminist-run society has also influenced her to have a demanding career and put marriage and motherhood on the back burner.

Why should she set herself up for the problem of the “mutual exclusiveness” of being a homeschooling mom and a physician, if she does meet someone to marry and has children (despite her thoughts about the nobility of celibacy)? 

Further, I believe she is mistaken that God is directing her to become a doctor. I don’t think God works that way although I can’t explain how He works, of course. But directing someone only toward a specific career path? We’re not talking about a vocation to the religious life or the priesthood, just a career.

Perhaps the sacrifice He wants from her is to give up what she thinks she ought to do based on her “personal strengths and interests” and think less personally about her life. In general, women are made either for motherhood or the religious life. Period.

I know of a teacher at a Catholic school for girls who mentors high school students. If a student expresses an interest in becoming a doctor and says she also wants to get married and raise a family, the teacher advises her to consider a less demanding career in medicine, namely, nursing.

Seems like very good, very practical Catholic advice.

If she needs intellectual stimulation there are plenty of interesting science degrees she can take, which would help her with homeschooling some day.

I’m also surprised you would compare the loneliness of a woman choosing a career over marriage to priestly celibacy. They are not comparable. Holy Orders is a sacrament, to begin with, while the whole career thing for women is modern garbage. Feminism has made women’s careers sacrosanct, while celibate priests are deemed the lowest form of humanity, but I digress.

Lastly, it seems if one decides on a life of celibacy it should not be simply to make their career plans work. It sounds like she is turning herself into a pretzel just to maintain her career path.

Laura writes:

Thanks for writing.

My answer was predicated on the assumption that H.F. possesses a serious and thoughtful commitment to celibacy and the single life. I do not know her, but made that assumption because of the seriousness of her comments. She obviously is not the average woman heading to medical school.

But everything you say can also be true. You are so right in pointing out that her choice just happens to coincide with what her parents want for her — so possibly it is not as independent-minded as she says. She also may be justifying becoming a doctor because she is afraid of failing at finding a husband. She is very young — only 22, and at that age young people are often unreasonably anxious that they will ever find a mate. Generally, I do not support the idea of women becoming doctors. Only women with a very serious vocation and desire to remain celibate should make that choice. Yes, I acknowledged that she might meet a man she wants to marry. Having declared herself a Catholic in such hostile surroundings, I cannot imagine her just abandoning her children and being part of the typical two-career family. But you’re right — why set herself up for difficulties?

I did not mean to say that the celibacy of a lay person is identical to that of a priest. No, it is not at all, for the reasons you mention. But the feelings at times of having left something significant behind must be similar. There are some who are meant to devote themselves to the single life, and being a doctor offers special opportunities to exercise Christian virtue. If H.F. had said she wanted to be a corporate executive, I would not have given the same answer. Doctors, because they so often encounter people in the midst of suffering or have the opportunity to serve the neglected and poor, may influence others in a deep way and spread the faith. As for God directing career decisions, I don’t understand what is implausible about it. Being a doctor, at its best, is more than just a career.

Salwa Bachar, at Tradition in Action, has given an apologia for the sort of single life I was assuming H.F. was seeking:

The fact is that the Church needs lay celibates at this time. Why? It is because the Revolution infiltrated the Catholic Church through Progressivism and threatens to destroy her and our world. She needs lay celibates more than religious people and priests because most of the clergy and religious institutions are corrupted by bad doctrines and customs. Consequently, single laymen and women seem to be much less infected by the revolutionary-progressivist virus and easier to convert to an anti-progressivist mindset.

Besides, in this vocation men and women can devote all their time to destroying the Revolution and building the Reign of Mary, which must be built on purity, something that lay celibacy should have as a state of life.

Those who choose marriage cannot devote all their time to the Counter-Revolution because their time is consumed with making a living and raising sound Catholic children in the midst of a Revolutionary world, which is already a noble and colossal task in itself. Even good priests and religious cannot devote all their time to the Counter-Revolution either, because they must spend their time administering the Sacraments or they are cloistered and bound by obedience to their superiors, who may be making concessions since they are directly or indirectly linked to the progressivist Hierarchy.

Since we are in the midst of battle, the only logical choice is to fight, to focus all our time on destroying the enemy. In our day, the best vocation that is perfectly suited for this fight seems to be the lay single life.

Please follow and like us: