Anglo-Catalan illuminated manuscript. Bibliotheque Nationale, Paris.

KIMBERLY HARTKE explains how meditating on the Book of Genesis changed her life:

This biblical concept of a woman’s role is offensive to modern sensibilities, due to the influence of feminist thought on modern culture. Yet, the role of a woman is her identity, her mission. We have women playing roles in contemporary America. All kinds of roles. The feminists have no objection to this, as long as a woman doesn’t choose the traditional role of wife and mother. Women who choose this role are derided and discounted. Their choice is a direct affront to the feminist agenda. Political feminism strives to erase all differences between men and women. Political feminism is about wresting power from men and advancing women economically through the workforce. We become direct competitors with men, rather than their allies and supporters. It never occurred to me that women can be much better off economically and socially when they invest themselves in the role of wife and mother. The family as an economic partnership is made stronger by clearly defined roles and responsibilities.

But reading and meditating on this verse shed light on my dilemma. Having bought the feminist version of success through career advancement, I realized that I had been pursuing a life independent of men and marriage. Somehow, I had gotten the idea that career success would attract a mate. I had also been looking for a man to fulfill my needs, rather that seeking to be a helper to a man. I had been looking for a man to fit in with my career, rather than looking to help a man succeed at his. It is no wonder I hadn’t gotten married! I had done everything exactly backwards. And what’s more, with stunning clarity, I realized that all along, my true ambitions had nothing to do with the business world. The only job I had really ever wanted was that of being a wife. The inspired word of God in an instant brought that hidden desire to the fore. I flipped a mental switch at that point. I made up my mind to be available to serve the needs of a man and our family, rather than to serve a boss or my career ambitions. I even started a home-based business to move the center of my existence closer to hearth and home.

— Comments —

John Purdy writes:

This is a heartfelt statement. I read it with great sadness. How regrettable it is that there weren’t more women like this in my age cohort. Well, except there were but in my experience they were all a bit strange, damaged or depressed – or sluts. They were looking to a man to be a lifesaver and were willing to be a helpmate in return. Despite five attempts I finally had to give up. Here is an anecdote from a man’s perspective that illustrates what life was like in the ’80s and ’90s.

I met a woman who shall be called MF. She was very pretty, industrious and clearly interested in marriage and family. Over the course of several dates I realized that despite her many virtues she was not too bright. This troubled me as I had always hoped to marry a woman of superior intelligence.

I nonetheless pursued the relationship as she was the best deal in town at that time. And I had very good feelings for her, maybe even love. She was such an innocent waif – I felt protective toward her.

After a year of dating with no sex, something most modern men would view as intolerable, I gave up. Despite many hints and even an outright statement she couldn’t decide what she wanted.

Three months after I packed it in she married! “Okay, Sweetie, every happiness in the future.”

Six months later she called me, obviously drunk and crying. Her husband constantly belittled her as stupid (something I would never do even if I knew she wasn’t smart) and he refused to have sex with her! And she was suicidal.

Being the White Knight that I am I drove 20 miles downtown to pick her up and straighten her out. Now we are not advised to be white knights but I couldn’t help it.

I lost track of her after that but I doubt her life was very happy.

I’m willing to accept some measure of blame in this: maybe I should have been more assertive, walked away earlier on. Maybe more patient. I’m not perfect but this seems to me to be too much to expect when dealing with a woman.

Thus no marriages.

Please follow and like us: