The Appearance of the Star, Giovanni da Modena; 1412

MY HUSBAND, older son and I went to a caroling party a couple of weeks ago. The party was mostly adults, but a couple of teenagers were there too. And there were two children, a sister and a brother, under the age of 12. Everyone was cheerful and determined to have fun. The children, both dressed in dark sweatshirts, were restless, almost agitated. They roamed about the rooms until the singing began.

We went to a basement room and the adults began belting out all the popular carols to a keyboard accompaniment. Everyone sang louder than usual. There had been a death in the family of our hosts just a few months before.

The singing continued when the girl, who was about nine or ten, sat down on the floor close to the center of the room. As I remember it now, no one else was sitting on the floor. She crossed her legs and adopted the lotus position. She placed her upward-turned hands on her knees, brought her index fingers and thumbs together, and closed her eyes.

As she sat there with her eyelids tightly shut and partook of lofty, Asiatic detachment from the scene around her, I remembered another caroling party of many years ago.

At that party, children outnumbered the adults by at least two to one. We were gathered in the basement of a modest suburban house to celebrate the Epiphany, the girls in party dresses and the boys in pants and collared shirts. One of the mothers had made three crowns and a large, gold foil-covered star. I was no more than four years old and by some miracle, I was chosen to wear the star on a string around my neck. I walked slowly around a post in the room followed by three boys wearing crowns.

We three kings of orient are,
Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Field and fountain, moor and mountain,
Following yonder star.

Oh, star of wonder, star of night,
Star with royal beauty bright.
Westward leading, still proceeding,
Guide us with thy perfect light.

Everyone sang. I was astounded at my good fortune to be a character — a very important one too — in this drama, so intense and mysterious. I was not sure what “moor and mountain” were, but I was a human star showing the wise men the way, over difficult terrain. That I knew.

Oh, star of wonder, star of night,
Star with royal beauty bright.

I did not want this night — or stardom — to end, not ever. And my small heart overflowed with a hope and wonder I will never forget.

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