I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE to readers for disappearing without explanation over the past few weeks. It was not something I did intentionally really; it just happened. In the 12 years I have run this site, I have never been away from it for so long.

Every day I woke up, hoping that the deep sadness I felt would be gone and that I would be able to post some of the many things I wanted to write. But it was still there. It wouldn’t go away. I couldn’t put words to “paper.” No words could do this sorrow justice. There are no shortcuts, no tricks, when it comes to grief. You have to live it. There’s no way around it. If taken in the right spirit though, it is never a waste of time. It is always filled with meaning. Listen, and you will learn from it. Don’t move, and you will hear its lessons.

I hope very few people noticed my absence, but I am sorry that I caused some readers concern and distress. Some have wondered whether I have given up or don’t care anymore or have been threatened and am afraid. None of this is true.

It’s not depression. It’s not hopelessness. It’s not resignation. It’s not anger. It’s not indifference. It’s not fear that I feel. It’s grief. It’s sorrow.

We are at war and it’s the most cunning and ingenious of wars. The fake pandemic — I detest even using the nauseating, official name for it, I detest the jargon, I detest everything about it — is an operation of breathtaking evil and scope. As a friend, a woman of great kindness and warmth who has been cruelly ostracized by her family and neighbors for not getting the shot, said to me today, “I can’t believe this is happening.”

Someone has to feel, no? If we were made of stone, would we be of any use to the world?

If I can look back someday and say, “Boy, was I wrong,” I will be so incredibly overjoyed.

If I could only be a nutty conspiracy theorist. Wow, what a great thing that would be. I would be overjoyed. Then my belief that we are in for much, much worse in the year ahead would be wrong.

I’m hoping I’m wrong. I want to be wrong. But my intuition and study of this project tell me we are in for great devastation from this mass injection scheme, this brilliant attack against humanity.

Grief in advance is natural and appropriate. I guess I’m getting it out of the way, so that I am ready when the time comes.

We should all take steps to prepare ourselves practically. These steps are much less important though than preparing ourselves spiritually. I’m a spiritual prepper.

I recommend putting all unnecessary activities aside now. Whatever fun and relaxation you don’t need (and we always need fun and relaxation, especially in the summertime and I’m not suggesting you become a melancholy, dour killjoy), skip.

We need time to meditate with compassion and charity on those who are believers in this fake pandemic. They have enough problems. If these true believers don’t see what’s before their very eyes at this point, they will never see it. They are victims of psychopathic manipulation. Yes, they have allowed themselves to be manipulated, but they still deserve our sympathy and help as events unfold. The sophistication and omnipresence of this bioterrorism campaign are so cunning, so diabolical. The reach of mass communications is unprecedented in the history of the world. Lies have never been so all-surrounding.

Without confidence in God and a sense of his overwhelming love and mercy, we simply can’t handle evil. The followers of the pandemic cult were susceptible. They fell into the trap because they were ready to fall. They didn’t know just how beautiful reality is. They had lost a vital innocence. Let them feel hostility toward us. Please don’t reciprocate. If you live among many true believers, as I do, please have compassion for them.

This is a time to meditate long and hard on the attributes of our loving God.

He will bring all manipulators to justice in the end. We need to defend the truth, but we don’t need to work as hard as we think we do. He has our back. We need absolute confidence and trust in Him. We need a childlike spirit. If we have moments of intense worry or revulsion or sadness, we need to turn away from these harmful and destructive emotions and cultivate a calm and trusting spirit. Ask, and it will be given to you. We can handle this. We definitely can handle this. In fact, we were made for this battle. This is the greatest adventure of our lives.

Ask to be the helpless child you are. God will give you tranquility and strength and courage. I have not the slightest doubt of that. There is no hopelessness in the sorrow I myself feel. There never has been. We are the beneficiaries of truth and wisdom. Let it never make us hard or bitter, cruel or defeated. Let it never destroy our innocence.

Please be assured that I am not going away or giving up. This sadness, which has felt like a knife in the middle of my heart, is getting much less severe and it exists side by side with happiness in my wonderful family and in the full days of summer. It will definitely pass soon. Thank you to those who have expressed concern over my absence. I’m sorry to cause any worry.

All my faithful readers are in my prayers.

To quote my friend Lawrence Auster, I’m glad to be living through the apocalypse with you.

— Comments —

Janice G. writes:

Having read your open letter to your readers, I wanted to let you know that your candor and depth of expression touched me deeply.

I’m glad to know you took the breather you needed, and I’m comforted to know that I am not alone in my feelings and in trying to find ways to cope in this ever more fractured world.

Thank you so much: for the walks down memory lane and for the glimpses you’ve provided of the world’s beauty and joy, as well as your direct takes on the more unpleasant realities we are living with today.

Your post today has been a strong reminder to me to keep courage, and continue with my prayers.
You will remain in them.

Laura writes:

Thank you.

Your appreciation means a lot to me.

VM writes:

Thank you so much for your oddly encouraging “Apologies” post. I too had been wondering if you were okay these past weeks. Your explanation was actually a tonic for me.

I, like you, am not afraid of this silly simulated virus. But over the past few months I have been profoundly grieved by the lies being told to support the story. And when I try to identify a single institution or area of life that is free of lies, I cannot think of one.

The mainline “RCC”, the mainline protestants, and even the Southern Baptist Convention all shut their doors during the “pandemic”, and they are still playing along with the fake pandemic narrative. I walked into my local Novus Ordo parish in May, 2020 and in the holy water font there was no water; only a bottle of Purell hand sanitizer. (Because holy water is a disease vector, dontcha know).

The other day Fauci said that three year olds ought to be masked. What sort of man would starve the oxygen of a three year old child?

The university presidents all lie. The doctors and nurses are lying. The newscasters lie 24 hours a day. The Twitterati propagate lies (and truth, for that matter. But who has the brains or the willpower to discern the difference, anymore?)

Sports are stupid, and used to promote nothing but a racial agenda. During the loathsome Pride Month I noticed they have even added a new letter to the LGBTQI+ deal. Now it is LGBTQIA+, with the A standing for “asexual”. Hmmm

Periodically I re-read Solzhenitsyn’s essay “Live Not By Lies”. I have prayed to the Lord and asked Him to help me live according to the challenge in the essay. He is helping me to do this. However, though I will be turning 56 in a few weeks I already feel that I have seen enough in this world. I truly don’t mind if the PTB have to execute me for wrong-think. I am simply tired of living in this world of lies. There is no shade to rest in anymore, aside from the quiet space in my home. For now.

Will the Lord intervene before the lies lead to their inevitable genocide? Or will he allow the disaster in order to purge the wickedness, something akin to the destruction of Jerusalem in 586 B.C., but this time on a global scale? I really don’t know.

I know that He is in control, but I am ready to go.

Thank you again for your encouraging words.

Laura writes:

I am encouraged too by your response. Thank you.

I share your complete lack of concern for your own safety. I fear the people who are afraid though. They have in so many cases lost their minds; it’s disturbing and at times scary to be around delusional thinking. It would be easier to live in an insane asylum because at least there is a general acknowledgement that the people are insane. But … I can’t feel contempt for these followers of the Cult. I am sad for them. Again, the manipulation is overwhelming.

We are living in an occupied city where all the inhabitants have welcomed the foreign troops with open arms. The enemy is giving us a summer of relative freedom. But this is only strategic.

There are parts of the country where things have never gone very far, but even they will be affected.

The hardest thing of all is that children are being “vaccinated.” The Cult believes in child sacrifice. They are taking their own children to its altars. What a living nightmare.

Zeno writes:

Thank you for letting us know all is well with you.

I, and I suppose, many others, were a bit concerned. On the other hand, I understand the silence — I also haven’t commented or written about these issues in quite some time now, as it gets tiresome after a while.

I understand your friend’s plight too. Most people in my family have been vaccinated and they are pressuring me to vaccinate too. They said they had no ill side effects and they feel more protected, so why shouldn’t I do it too?

But, in my case, I am not really worried about side effects. They might be minor or non-existent. Perhaps the vaccine is even “protective” to some degree, I don’t know. But it just feels that if I take the “jab”, I become part of this “system” that is introducing “vaccine passports” and “green passes” and constant tests and 24h tracking of our health and our movements. It’s not a world in which I want to live, so I don’t want to contribute to it, if I can avoid it.

However, this seems, for most people, and sometimes even for me, a weak reason to oppose vaccination, especially when you’re increasingly isolated and limited when rejecting it, you might not be able to travel and in some cases might even lose your job. So I understand those who take it.

I think also another reason for being suspicious of vaccination is – these are the same people pushing “transgenderism” for children, pornographic culture, unhealthy food, so why should we trust them in this case?

Like you, I also hope I am wrong, and that things get better and this “pandemic” ends before next winter. But it doesn’t look so good. For instance, they seem bent on vaccinating even children from 5-12 years old, who are for all effects and purposes immune to the disease, based on a vague concept of “herd immunity”. But why put children unnecessarily at risk?

https://edition.cnn.com/2021/07/21/politics/vaccines-children-biden-town-hall-cnntv/index.html

https://qz.com/2035936/why-covid-vaccine-trials-in-children-are-necessary/

They also instate “vaccine passports” everywhere, even if they accept that vaccinated people can transmit the disease and even get sick, rendering such segregation of “vaccinated” and “unvaccinated” useless in practice.

So, you have to wonder what their real goal is.

Thank you, and wish you well.

Laura writes:

Thanks for writing.

I understand what you are saying, but I believe the “vaccines” are slow-acting poisons. I hate to be negative, but we are facing genocide. Greed alone is not the motive behind this pharmaceutical coercion.

Please, do not get the shot.

Kidist Paulos Asrat writes:

Great to see you’re back! I am very sorry to hear about this period of darkness that you faced, grief, as you say. It is painful, and hard to shake off.

I went through this at the very beginning of the “pandemic,” when shops closed their doors, and public places were emptied. It really was that, as you describe, grief, as though someone had died.

But, Laura, I understand the urgency you write about. And I wish to tell you that we can live in lightness, and happiness. Sometimes in the small things – like the chirping of birds. Other times in the bigger things – spending time doing simple things with people we love.

Things go as fast, or as slow, as God wants them to go. It doesn’t help to get tied to urgency.

But above all, this “light at the end of that tunnel” gives you energy to work. Now more then ever we need to produce work that sanely talks about redeeming and reclaiming our world, our families, and ourselves. There is enough writing/information about the “pandemic.” The “pandemic” grand priests WANT us to be eternally immersed in this – their – world.

Harsh words are also necessary, by the way. Seduction by lies is a powerful weapon, but those that buy into the lies need a jolt, a reminder, at how wrong, and how complicit, they are. After all, they are not toddlers, but full grown human beings who have lived many kinds of lives.

Funnily enough, this jolt of truth, which I do out of love, also makes them closer to you, as it is a stark contrast to the sugary lies that they keep hearing everywhere they go. We also need to hold on to power – I don’t mean the power of a fascist, but that of a leader. Our truth is our strength, which is our power, and through which we can become leaders.

Keep up YOUR good work.

Michael de Loatch writes:

I had thought you were giving us discerning readers a veiled hint on your whereabouts with your final post “A Bird’s Vacation”.

I am sorry you were feeling unable to contribute more.  Certainly cyberspace has already piled up enough corona chatter to fill three or four universes, anyway.

For my part, I saw through the deception in March 2000 and I know it was the Holy Spirit guiding me.  So every maniacal thing that occurs actually increases my own faith in the Almighty.  As Christ said, “see that ye be not troubled: for all these things must come to pass.”  I hate to invoke Star Wars nonsense, but ObiWan told Darth Vader that striking him down only increases the power of the former.  It seems that the enemy of God doesn’t understand ironic effect of its every act accreting to our Creator’s plan in the long run, no matter how inimical it be.

Laura writes:

Thanks.

I assume you mean “March 2020.” From the first day, I too knew it was a lie.

So every maniacal thing that occurs actually increases my own faith in the Almighty.  

Exactly. Unfortunately, there are many Internet truth tellers who don’t get it.

Caryl J. writes:

I am so glad to know you are back, with your stalwart and insightful posts. Thank you for sharing with your readers the depths of what you are feeling.

“Those whom the gods destroy, they first drive mad.” I fear we are living through the suicide of the West. I hope I may be wrong. If we had penance, the resolve the destroy less of of our landscape, not waste so much, honor truth and integrity….we might be able to forestall the disasters. I just don’t see it happening. Is there anyone with the soul and wholeness of mind and heart to understand what is happening, even more to counsel us about it? We need to cultivate an ethic of stewardship–for land, people, families, society, history, culture—That is my strong belief.

God bless you, dear friend!