“COLONEL Robert L. Stirm was a US airforce pilot who was taken prisoner by the North Vietnamese communists in 1967. He was held captive and tortured for over five years until his release in 1973. His reunion with his family is the subject of the Pulitzer Prize-winning photo Burst of Joy, which you see [above]. Odd, then, that I have highlighted the face of his wife, Loretta.

“While this reunion should have been a moment of unbridled joy, it was not for Colonel Stirm, who had received a letter from his wife three days prior, informing him that she wanted a divorce. Within a year of his capture, Loretta began a series of affairs. Within days of the Colonel’s return to US soil, she took his two youngest children, his house, car and 40% of his future pension for life. The Colonel challenged this in court, but lost. He had to go live with his mother and provide for his two older children.

“I think this story deserves to be constantly retold as a case study in human betrayal and an early example of how the court system in the US and wider West treats men like dirt – even heroes who have fought and suffered for their country.”

— Way of the World

— Comments —

Kathy writes:

You have a knack for posting things that are a punch to the gut. This appalling story has haunted me since I read it.  I suppose I shouldn’t be shocked, or appalled. And, had the wife divorced her POW husband, that would have been bad enough. But to live off of his pay, avoiding offers of “marriage” to continue adultery and apparently siphon off his retirement pay is, so cruel and unfeeling, so monstrous, it is difficult to comprehend. And men wanted to marry this woman, knowing her level of commitment to her POW husband! ! I hope Colonel Stirm has found peace. So sad.

Laura writes:

Sorry for the punches.

Hurricane Betsy writes:

I’d sure like to know how frying villagers 5,000 miles from home with Agent Orange and Napalm constitutes “suffering for your country.”  How’s  that freedom they fought for working out for ya, Way of the World?

I looked this story up here & there until I found portions of the letter from Loretta to her husband.  She referred to how miserable they had been and in her opinion they were simply not suited to living together:

“I love you – we all love you, but you must remember how very unhappy we were together,” it said. “It wasn’t your fault – we are extremely unsuited and managed to make each other miserable. . . . “

I went to quite a few sites looking for the contents of this letter.  Most of them omitted the above two sentences.  More:

“Loretta’s mindset was nothing new. The two had previously divorced when they were younger, but remarried shortly after. They had four children together, and had been through a lot of good and bad, respectively.  (from https://popularmilitary.com/wife-in-famous-photo-of-embracing-her-pow-husband-actually-stole-his-retirement-and-kids/)

So did she misbehave?  Was Robert Stirm badly treated by the system as regards his money (pension)?   Maybe, maybe not.

In shocking or controversial cases where I am not involved I wonder what I’d do.  She gave this man four children and “married” status.  Without these things, just about any man is looked at suspiciously (bet he’s queer! must be something wrong with him!)  Perhaps she is entitled to that 40 per cent of his pension.

In any event, that photo is one of the most impressive ones ever.  I don’t think Loretta was faking her big smile in spite of her desire for divorce, though she could have waited a bit before presenting him with the bad news.

I think there likely are other details we will never know.  Maybe emotional abuse on the noble Mr. Stirm’s part and this is her revenge. He is military, you know; I worked for the military for more years than I care to disclose,  and I’d live in an unheated hovel before I would have consented to marry any of those men.  They are hired killers (My country right or wrong!) & not much more.

Matty writes:

The counter [argument] is that Loretta is a terrible person.

While I don’t condone post-USA’s World War II interventionist wars and the destruction they caused (often creating huge refugee crises), it is suffering to be imprisoned in something that is effectively a jail because of pampered elitists in Washington that avoided sending their own children into combat. I have a hard time believing that Robert L. Stirm was anyway abusive. One, Betsy even quoted Loretta’s letter saying it wasn’t Robert’s fault, they just weren’t very happy. Two, observe Lorrie Stirm, the “Burst of Joy” herself, upon seeing her father, as well as his other children’s expressions in that award winning photo.

I get that Betsy doesn’t trust military men, but I [am acquainted with] a few vets, and they are some of the most decent men I know. I also contest that Colonel Stirm somehow “gained” more from the married status than her, especially back then as she would have been seen as an old maid with no job skills. He could have easily found another girl to marry and bear his kids that wouldn’t later divorce him and take him for all he was worth. I suspect the story is closer to my maternal grandparents’ story. My mother would comment about how my grandmother openly resented my grandfather, as my mother viewed him as one of the kindest people she knew, and my grandmother was the abusive one (my mother is very respectful of my grandmother, despite everything; it was my dad that disclosed her abuse).

It takes a spiritually bankrupt person to still want revenge on someone that spent five and half years in a third-world prison camp.

Laura writes:

Presumably Loretta knew Robert Stirm before she married him. Presumably she wasn’t forced at gunpoint into making a vow. If she was unhappy with her choice, she had herself to blame.

She could have discreetly separated from him after welcoming him home. I doubt she wanted revenge so much as she wanted another man. She was shameless and cruel.

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