HAVE you ever seen a groundhog? Up close?

I have. And I will never forget it. He was just a few inches away. I had seen them many times from afar. But never so close.

I can assure you, they are the most hideous animals — all waddling, distended stomach and long, sharp, threatening claws. Shockingly ugly and destructive, that’s a groundhog for you. They are so unpopular there is no record at all of human affection for them. No one keeps a groundhog for a pet, even in this age of fanaticism. Many amateur methods of killing these creatures have been devised. Some peaceful souls learn to use a gun for the sole purpose of killing groundhogs.

Groundhog Day is an obscene joke. It makes about as much sense as “Vulture Day” or “Black Widow Spider Day.” When life is stripped of meaningful ritual and festivity, people come up with some truly sick ideas. Anyone who gathers in a group with excitement, waiting to see a disgusting, ravenous groundhog emerge from a hole, is, well, in serious need of better things to do.

— Comments —

Kathy writes:

I am no fan of groundhogs, either. They burrow terrible holes in the hayfields for horses and haying equipment to fall into, and eat my garden. But we discovered the young ones are not bad on the grill.

Laura writes:

You are invited to dinner at my house whenever you wish.

I will provide the groundhogs. : – )

Please follow and like us: