FROM a 2013 post, “Seeking a New Life after Lesbianism:”

I am a young woman. As a teenager, I desperately longed for a young man to pursue me and make me his wife. I especially longed for a man to take charge and be the authority in our marriage. But I had no background for this and no idea of how to pursue it. My parents didn’t have this type of relationship, nor did anyone I knew. No one I knew was traditional. I wanted nothing more than to be married and have children, but it was lonely and no one supported me, especially since I was an overachiever in school and had a good job. They told me to focus on that and to date casually, for fun. I became deeply disillusioned and saddened by my reality. Over time, I drifted into lesbianism and other perversions. People outside the community don’t know, I think, but very masculine lesbians are ‘allowed’ oftentimes to act like men, while men in our society are afraid to or are shamed for doing so. These women are often protective and authoritative, and want to take care of a woman. I longed for that feeling so much that I became very confused. Now I feel like damaged goods and like a good man will not want me. I feel a lot of shame and disappointment in myself, but that’s also what’s keeping me from finding light.

I don’t think this makes me not guilty of any sin, but I think it speaks to the horrible sickness in our society. I think many people are getting confused for similar reasons. When men are forced to not be men, it harms them, but it also harms women. I needed masculinity in my life very badly and didn’t know where to find it.

— Comments —

Kathy G. writes:

What a great post, and wonderful responses by you and so many men! As an overly assertive, rebellious and independent female, I can relate. I recall as a young child wanting to be a mother and have many children. As I grew older, I was taught by my mother that men cannot be trusted, that you must have a trade/means of independent livelihood because you cannot trust men to provide or lead. It was a time when there were no battered women’s shelters and my father was a violent alcoholic who eventually left the family.

I wanted marriage and family, but felt embarrassed that I did. I am not an envious person at all, but I recall being overwhelmed with a feeling of sadness and absolute envy when a young pastor and his wife came into the nursing home where I worked to conduct a service. He was in a suit, his wife was modestly dressed in a dress, and they had several adorable children with them. The relationship was obviously very traditional, wholesome, and happy-appearing. Finally, I saw that I was unhappy, and did not know how to form a relationship except on a superficial level, and I went to a counselor. I had met a very sweet guy in a bar, and he had asked me out, but I didn’t feel “attracted” to him, although he asked me out several times. Finally, my counselor asked why I wouldn’t go out with him, and my response was “He’s just so…..NICE!”. The counselor said “Do you HEAR yourself??!”

By that time, the guy had stopped asking me out, but we had become good friends. I waited, but realized I’d have to ask him, so I did. We have been married 37 years. I feel so blessed. Sometimes you have to be up front and honest about what you really want. There are wonderful men out there! We live in a sick culture that is so hard to navigate, there is no one not damaged, and God has a soft spot for repentant prodigals.

Laura writes:

Sad story.

Happy ending.

Please follow and like us: