Empty Nest Homemakers
August 8, 2024
AMELIA writes:
I have read your blog for many years now and have appreciated your thoughtful posts and comforting wisdom throughout the many different seasons of young motherhood and the homeschooling years. Now that my homeschooling years have come to a close, I am saddened to be surrounded by people pressuring me to go “make something of myself” at every turn. My husband is not interested in me returning to paid employment and appreciates the work I do in our home as well as what I do for our community. I have been running a home economics club for young people for several years now and also support two different charities in our community. Between these efforts, my social life, and my home, I am plenty busy and fulfilled.
How does one turn off the noise of the peanut gallery at this stage of the homemaker’s journey? How does a new empty-nester prepare for this new chapter of mean remarks and advice? It seems mighty different than the unkindness and confused questions I experienced during my baby, toddler, and homeschool years.
Thank you kindly for your advice.
Laura writes:
In America, if you don’t have paying job, you’re a non-person. You can’t change that. Also, people are looking for easy conversation-starters. They probably don’t care that much, just as long as you say something.
If people aren’t satisfied with your busy life as it is (and you shouldn’t feel ashamed of it), here are some other possible answers when people ask what you do or urge you to get a job:
1. “I’m helping my husband with his work right now. I’m just too busy.” (True, right?)
2. “I’m writing a book.” (A few lines a day and that’ll be true.)
3. “I’m working as an interpersonal-relations specialist.” (I’m sure you are.)
4. “I’m a home economics teacher. I can’t fit anything else in!”
5. “I’d like to make a run for governor. Would you vote for me?”
6. “What can I say? I’m incompetent! There’s just no hope for me.”
Most importantly, enjoy your life and don’t worry about what other people think. You’re doing what’s best in your situation. Show interest in and enthusiasm for other people’s work lives. They’ll be happy to talk about that and to find a willing listener in you.
Thanks for your encouragement!
