IN this recent entry on idiotic, meaningless names, a reader mentions a blogger who keeps track of the names of babies born in Rexburg, a largely Mormon town in Idaho. Parents in Rexburg outdo each other with novel spellings and ugly names such as Sharlee and Jaxson. The blogger, named Jessica, writes:

My husband and I used to live in a little town in Southeastern Idaho called Rexburg. There’s a culture there, and in surrounding areas (I’M LOOKING AT YOU, UTAH) of people giving their children all manner of atrocious made-up and misspelled names. (People outside of Idaho and Utah do too, of course, but these two states are trendsetters – see here if you disagree.)

The local paper publishes the names of all the children born the previous year, or at least the ones whose parents love them enough to pay the required fee, in an annual insert. When we moved, laughing maniacally at that yearly paper was the one thing I knew I’d miss from Rexburg.

BUT IN STEPPED MY MOM TO SAVE THE DAY. She still lives in the area, you see, and just a few months after Jon and I moved to Arizona, a parcel arrived in our mailbox unannounced. I spent the next hour gleefully scoffing at the names and posted the worst offenders to my little blog (then known only to a handful of family members but which has since grown to a readership of many tens).

That was six years ago, and my mom has been mailing me the list ever since. The following is the complete anthology in reverse chronological order – enjoy!

Here’s the list for 2012, which includes:

Skylee Ranae
Raegan Tyree
Taybree
Brylee
Brinley/Brynley
JaCee
Myla
Traven Cru
Amberlynn
Shaelynn Rylee
Shaylynn
Sharlee
Adalee

— Comments —

Alex A. writes:

Presumably American clergy are quite willing to baptize children whose parents choose outlandish or even idiotic names for them? At one time, baptism was refused unless the child’s Christian name (now called “first name”) was of Christian or at least ancient heritage.

Laura writes:

Mormons are not Christians, though they embrace some Christian values and beliefs. So when you speak of American clergy, I’m not sure what you mean. There is no religion of “Christianity.” There is the Church and there are those various sects that have adopted some of its beliefs and rituals while being opposed to others. Mormon baptisms, by the way, occur after the age of eight.

Bill Irons writes:

I’ve dealt with Mormons a few times in the past. They are nearly always pleasant people. But I have to say that I have almost never met a Mormon who seemed to have a deeply felt, well articulated moral view of the world. Almost all of them are hard working, non-malevolent “good citizens” who would make excellent neighbors. That said, my sense of them is that they are a sort of cult-of-conformism. It may be that their theology is so deranged that their young people, at an early age, learn to suspend their powers of critical thought. Having given up all thought, it’s not surprising that some groups of them would follow along with the black trend of idiotic names, just deviating a little less radically than the blacks do, misspelling conventional or creating variants on existing names.

Additionally, where a white Christian’s cultural heritage is vast, the most meaningful part of a Mormon’s “true” heritage occurred just 150 years ago. It could be that these names reflect a vacancy in their spiritual world. Where I might scan all of history, including the Middle Ages, Biblical times, and modern West for a suitable name, the faithful Mormon exists in a more limited spiritual perspective, and the last 150 years, including much nihilism and idiocy, loom large. Is it a harkening back to the hippie 1960s that we see in such a name as Skylee?

Laura writes:

Maybe it’s more American West than the 1960s. It’s Little House on the Prairie meets Hollywood.

Alex A. writes:

As I understand it, Mormons claim to be Christians at least to the extent that Christ is at the centre of their beliefs. In this country they seem to emphasize their Christianity by calling themselves the Church of Jesus Christ (sometimes of Latter-day Saints). Isn’t it conventional Christian opinion that Mormons, because they don’t believe in original sin, must be re-baptized if they convert to, let’s say, Catholicism?

On the question of baptizing children with ridiculous names: at one time the parson at a parish in the Church of England would refuse to baptize a child unless his first name was a Christian or a “traditional” name. (Skylee Smith would be rejected, but James Skylee Smith would probably be okay).

I doubt that the Anglican church would care to take a conservative line on this matter at the present time.

Alex B. [a different Alex] writes:

Lawrence Auster had a similar theory to Bill Irons’s about Mormons’ morals, which he shared when discussing the reasons of Mitt Romney’s failure to show any moral principles during his presidential campaign. He wrote:

I have a theory explaining Romney’s bizarre emptiness. It has to do with his Mormonism. Mormonism consists, at its core, of many ridiculous assertions that no rational person could possibly believe. How, then, does Mormonism attract and keep so many adherents? Because the core of the religion is not this folderol about a family of sixth century B.C. Jews sailing from Mesopotamia to North America or Joseph Smith discovering a 2,000 year old platinum scripture written by an angel buried behind his farm in upstate New York, but the patriarchal way of life it teaches. This is deeply appealing to people, and it works for them. That’s why they are Mormons. At the same time, in order to be Mormons, they have to turn off their rational faculty when it comes to questions of truth. They disregard questions of truth, and focus on the pragmatic, ethical aspects of Mormonism.

This describes Romney perfectly. As a Mormon, he has turned off his faculty of the rational search for truth, but at the same time he follows the healthy and solid Mormon maxims on how to live a good life. As a result, he is a man devoid of principles, even while his personal character is exemplary.

An interesting discussion ensued at this site and at VFR.

Mormonism strikes me as a religion of business, an ideology if not designed then at least perfectly suited to produce men able to achieve material success. Much like Judaism, come to think of it.

On the subject of names: in my old country, the Soviet Union, and all its constituent “republics” each containing its own people with its own language and traditional names, from Christian to Muslim to Buddhist to animist, there were lists of allowed names and children were protected from being given stupid names by stupid parents. (Except, of course, the variety of the most ridiculous names constructed by abbreviating communist slogans or taking the first syllables of the names of one or more communist figures, but that was not very common after the craziness of the early postrevolutionary period.) But a Western liberal democracy, of course, cannot deprive people of their self-evident human right to screw up their children for life.

Laura writes:

The issue of Mormon superficiality, which I consider something that is indisputable, was also discussed here.

Terry Morris writes:

I recommend the entirety of Jessica’s post – including the comments by readers with their own stories about ridiculous names and their spellings – to any of your readers in need of a good laugh session. One woman mentions the name La-a, saying that the girl in question was offended when her teacher mispronounced her name in school. The dash in her name, she scolded her uninformed teacher, is to be pronounced, as in Ladasha. Another woman mentions the name River.

Speaking of which, a cousin’s ex-wife named their two children (a girl and a boy) Blue Sky and River respectively. The idea there, as I recall, was to honor their Native American ancestry, such as it is. Another cousin and his wife named their son Rowdy, and their daughter Stormy. No idea really what that was all about, but both children seem to be living up to their names. We also have a Whitley in the family. You cannot even imagine how I pleaded with my younger sibling at the time to choose another (traditional, white, Christian) name for her daughter, but to no avail. Whitley it was to be, and a Whitley we most definitely got! At 25, her life is already ruined beyond any reasonable hope of repair, unlike her two traditionally-named older brothers. I hear she’s good at translating ghetto-speak into proper English though. That is, when she’s feeling particularly generous toward those of us white folk whom she refers to in verse as “Albino Dragons.” (Whoa!) So I guess there’s an upside to everything. Then there is Cash (named after Johnny Cash – the rebel); can’t wait to see how he turns out! None of these people are Mormon. They are all, or once were, however, members of the same Protestant sect, which has a number of cult-like characteristics. What they share in common with Mormons and blacks is a rejection of the traditional white culture, and its orthodox Christian faith. So they’re essentially protesting the protesters, I guess. And it all comes out in the way they “worship,” how they choose names for their children, as well as how some of the more hard-core types have chosen to dispense with their dead. Among other things.

Alex writes:

These people aren’t Mormons either. In fact, they claim to be conservative Christians.

Laura writes:

Mormons are not the only whites to use ridiculous names.

Kevin Rummler writes:

Samples of small lists from one rural community with no verifiable link to any particular faith or race I do not think extrapolate to any trend of Mormonism, a worldwide religion. Neither does a leftist-filtered image of an individual, Mitt Romney, accurately reflect Mormonism and its people. Some of your readers (from the East Coast?) may cling to bizarre attitudes about Mormons, probably influenced by the scary propaganda dispensed by various enemies of the faith. I have personally known and associated with thousands of Mormons from many different States over 50 years and never observed any bizarre naming practices.

However, there is a verifiable trend among Mormons as may be seen at this website and YouTube link. A one-hour documentary of these classical/sacred high caliber choirs will air on BYU TV the first Sunday in October. Speaking of Mormon people, my wife and I recently visited the immaculate Brigham Young University campus, the largest private university in America. There one may find possibly the most virtuous and beautiful young people in America. This long-lasting trend of armies of fine young Mormon men and women who are deeply and genuinely devout in so many values you cherish will continue to positively influence the world.

Thank you for your beautiful and insightful work.

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