FROM Authority and Its Enemies (Transaction, 1995) by Thomas Molnar:

NOW my contention is that authority is analogous to love. Every act within the family is either a manifestation of authority (and corresponding obedience or refusal) or a manifestation of its absence. At first sight, love could be represented by a larger circle, authority by a smaller one inscribed in the first. Love is always present in the form of care, consideration, gifts, gestures, and so on, whereas authority needs a precise external sign, a regular affirmation, a direction. I once heard a father say how he envied his brother who merely had to signal to his teenage sons in order to silence them when he was talking with other adults. “My son would continue talking,” he lamented in a resigned tone. The case of the two brothers displays similar situations and similar sentiments of paternal love, but they are made dissimilar by the presence or absence of authority. It is not difficult to conclude that love is more effective (and mutually more satisfying) when accompanied by authority. The latter indeed is a way of channeling love; instead of a general and ubiquitous emotionalism, love becomes structured, apportioned, is made directive, I would even say “educational” if the term had not been devalued as a part of the bureaucratic jargon. Anyway, love is formative and humanizing when coupled with authority; in combination, the two are the cement of the family structure.

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