Sarah Trumbull on her Deathbed, 1824
DON’T DIE, dear reader.
Please don’t die. I am experienced enough with this regrettable phenomenon to advise you — without hesitation or doubt — that you should not die.
Do something else instead.
Go for a walk in the woods.
Get a haircut.
Have a glass of wine or start a new hobby or write poetry. Anything, for Pete’s sake.
But, die? It’s not worth it. Interesting yes, but not worth the trouble. If death comes knocking at your door, politely decline. There are some experiences you don’t need on your resumé.
But … you must die someday, you say? “I have no choice,” you say?
Hmm, I hadn’t thought of that.
Well, in that case, it is my editorial duty to inform you that if you must die, you must strive to do it well. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. But only at your finest.
How, you might ask, can you die well? That’s a good question. Now that I think of it, the answer is lengthy. Let’s start with one small and essential tip: Don’t wait till the last minute. Procrastination is risky, and besides it takes a long time to die well in many cases.
Start now. Everyday, without fail, for a few moments, contemplate your own death. Even if you are smart and young and busy and active with a hundred plans for tomorrow. Contemplate your own death.
That’s a morbid subject, you say! It is. Don’t get caught up in picturesque details or gory scenarios or the idea of last minute confessions. Your death may not be spectacular. It might be boring and only technically morbid. Simply meditate upon the finality of death. It is final in certain ways, you know. You were born. You will die. You are here. You are gone. A weird thing. Death is abnormal. If you think upon this fact then you not only have a chance of dying well, you have a greater chance of living well. Death is strange. And therefore life itself is strange. How can you understand anything unless you face the mystery of death? Not death in the abstract. But your death.
To die well is to live well. Or to live well is to die well. In not that much time, you and I and the next person will be gone.
Begin today. I would rather you not die. That is my personal preference. But if you must do it, mortal man, do it well. Die well, sweet victim. All else is minor in comparison.